The Top 10 Film Horses
#10 – Shadowfax
Why have just a boring old movie horse when you can have Shadowfax, KING of the hoofed wonders? He’s awesome because, hey, he won’t let anybody put a bridle or saddle on him. Neigh-body can ride him save for Gandalf, who, let’s face it, is pretty much a legend in his own right. He’s good to go for any Orc-heavy battle, can knock up some good miles very fast and HE’S SO PRETTY!!!
#9 – Pegasus
We couldn’t possibly go without mentioning the horse-fuelled romp that is Clash Of The Titans (1984), in which the winged horse is the sole survivor of Zeus’ sacred herd of magical equines. Probably one of the most beautiful mythical ponies ever, he helps Perseus defeat the Krakon and rescue Andromeda. If that’s not worthy of top horse rankings, I don’t know what is…
#8 – Amalthea
What could possibly beat a flying horse, you might be wondering. How about a mother-hoofing unicorn!? That’s right, it’s The Last Unicorn which is about, as you may have guessed, the last ever unicorn and her quest to find out what happened to the rest of her kind. Why do we love her so? Well, she’s brave and virtuous and voiced by Mia Farrow. Mia Farrow. Amazing, right?
#7 – The Wooden Horse
Ok, ok, so this horse isn’t exactly real per se, but it is a pretty goddamn famous one! And Troy does single-handedly convey that horses ain’t just for girls, doesn’t it? Anyway, so, there’s a war going on and, randomly, your enemies leave you a huge hollowed-out wooden horse. Nothing says ‘we’re sorry!’ like an outsized inanimate equine, after all. Suspicious that it might contain thousands of well-armed and highly-adept soldiers? Nah, don’t be stupid…
#6 – The Pie
If you were entering a horse in the Grand National, would you name him after a fatty pastry-based snack? If your answer was a resounding “hell no!”, you’ve obviously never seen National Velvet, in which The Pie (a mischievous pony of surprising prowess) and Elizabeth Taylor pound their way to certain success. An epic story about never giving up hope and, more importantly, about horses being bloody amazing.
#5 – Pegasus (again!)
Yeah, so what if Pegasus hoofs his way into our list twice? We really do love him just that much; this time, the winged equine soars in from Disney’s Hercules . We see him as a young foal (that’s baby horse, to you guys not down with the lingo!) and witness the special bond he shares with the muscled son of Zeus. He jokes, he swoops, he soars, he feels extreme jealousy when Herc forms a romantic attachment… in short, it’s the ultimate animated bromance and, oh boy, do these two know how to stirrup a lotta trouble!
#4 – Donkey
Donkey isn’t a horse, you say? Wrong. Big fat NO, but thanks for playing. Our favourite ass enjoys a brief stint as a noble steed in Shrek 2, when a magical potion goes awry. Glossy mane, shimmering white coat and well polished hooves, all bundled up with Eddie Murphy’s brilliantly timed performance? Yum. He’s the horse of our dreams. In fact, as Donkey says himself, he’s a “stallion, baby!”
#3 – Black Beauty
Black Beauty gallops into no less than seven screen adaptations of the original novel, but we’re pretty enamoured with the 1994 edition of the infamous equine. Why? We’re not sure; he’s just so glossy and marvellous, isn’t he? And he’s voiced by Alan Cumming. Oh yeah, that’s right; this film is the horse’s autobiography. We get to hear everything from his life as a young colt right up to his happy retirement in the country. The fun and games aren’t the mane (ha!) event, however; there’s a fire and a whole lot of bad horse treatment to sink your teeth into as well!
#2 – Seabiscuit
There’s nothing we like more than an underdog, so imagine our joy when we discovered that there was such a thing as an underhorse! This is the story of Seabiscuit, an undersized and overlooked thoroughbred race horse with a nose for success. Want a great pony quote? “You know, everyone thinks that we found this broken down horse and fixed him, but we didn’t. He fixed us, every one of us, and I guess in a way we kinda fixed each other, too.” No wonder this one got an Oscar!
#1 – Maximus
If law and order make you weak at the knees, look no further on your quest for the perfect horse than Maximus. Sure, he’s a relative newbie from Disney’s latest animation Tangled, but this horse is hot to trot! He can use a sword. He can spring a guy from prison. He can track a criminal down for hundreds of miles. He has a beautifully glossy coat, a well groomed ego and street smarts… alright, sure, he’s got a thing for apples, but what outsized pony doesn’t these days? Maximus, we’re ready to gallop off into the sunset with you!