#10 – The ultimate one-liner…

“Savvy?”

The Pirates Of The Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Pearl

When to use it: Met a cutie in your local coffee shop? Just asked them to come back to yours and waiting for a response as they fiddle with their drink? Fill the gap in conversation with this little beauty.

Why it works: Jack Sparrow is one of the sexiest characters to grace the silver screen, ever. Why? Forget the matted hair and the questionable eye make-up; it’s all about the cock-sure attitude and huge charm offensive. Throwing a well-timed “savvy?” into any hook-up conversation is guaranteed to make the object of your affections weak at the knees… leaving you free to pillage them however you wish!

#9 – Asking out a co-worker…

“Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take [insert name] out that he’d melt my brain”

Back To The Future

When to use it: Are you in love with Debra from accounts or Josh from admin? Finding it difficult to broach the professional line? Go McFly on them!

Why it works: This line conveys the seriousness of your situation. You have to take them out on a date or you’ll die, it’s that simple. It’s not personal, it’s business, which is why it slots wonderfully into an office environment. It also makes you sound overwhelmingly edgy and cool, doesn’t it?

#8 – Sitting at a bar…

“I like to dissect girls. Did you know I’m utterly insane?”

American Psycho

When to use it: Trying to look cultured and debonair, a la Patrick Bateman (minus, you know, the insanity)? Fling this at the sort of person who deals out witty knock-backs like they’re going out of fashion and see what happens.

Why it works: It sounds like a joke, doesn’t it? It sounds like a joke but it’s the sort of joke that will make them cough on their Chardonnay for a moment. Shock factor is a big winner when dealing with someone who spends the majority of a conversation flicking their barbed wit in your direction; stun them into silence and then launch a charm offensive. Easy! OBVIOUSLY don’t follow out the threat; in fact, we recommend that you throw in a disarming smile to ensure that you haven’t terrified them completely.

#7 – At a club…

“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

Batman (1989)

When to use it: Spotted someone that you reckon would look good on the dancefloor? Sidle on up to them, lean down and whisper this in their ear…

Why it works: Nobody likes being asked to dance, full stop. Or, maybe they do, but it’s always a very awkward conversation. Sidestep all the inane wouldya-couldya banter and throw in this intriguing question, lifted from the lips of The Joker himself. It’s dark, it’s macabre and it demands their full attention. It also sounds quite a lot like an innuendo, doesn’t it? By which I mean, it sounds a little like you’re asking them for sex without actually asking them for sex. Clever stuff.

#6 – Rounding second base…

“Are you The Keymaster?”

Ghostbusters

When to use it: Things getting hot ‘n’ heavy and you want to take them even further? Time to test the field…

Why it works: If the Ghostbusters can look sexy in those awful shapeless brown paperbag-style jumpsuits, then it’s probably worth taking a leaf out of their books. This one’s simple; are you The Keymaster? Well, are you? Keys are pretty much the ultimate phallic symbol, right? Pressing it into a mysterious lock and opening up a door to somewhere unknown… sounds sexy to me! And if your date doesn’t agree then they’re not worth it anyway.

#5 – In the bedroom…

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.”

Star Wars, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

When to use it: Just got naked in front of your beloved for the first time? Is there an awkward silence? Break it with a little bit of Jedi humour…

Why it works: Everybody loves Yoda; he’s wise, he’s kitschy and he knows how to rock a robe all day long. It makes perfect sense that he’s got the lingo for the bedroom down pat. Extra points if you mimic his voice while uttering the line.

#4 – Going post-coital…

“That was pretty fucking trippy”

Pulp Fiction

When to use it: Lying flat on your back, all hot and sweaty after hours and hours of out-of-this-world sex? Don’t bow to the pressure of post-coital silence…

Why it works: Ever wanted to be one of those people with the ultimate dry quip to hand? We’ve got you covered here. This line establishes that you’ve had a brilliant experience in a succinct and no-nonsense fashion. It also allows you to feel like a fast and dirty character from Pulp Fiction when, in actual fact, you were probably too fast and, sure, a little bit grubby.

#3 – One night stand…

“I want something’s flesh”

Withnail and I

When to use it: You just want sex. You don’t want small-talk or drinks or dinner. Just plain old nasty sex.

Why it works: Nobody knows how to ask someone they’ve just met for plain no-strings-attached humping, do they? And, if they do, they’re not really planning on sharing that little gem with the rest of us lesser mortals, as it’ll ruin their credibility. So try this. It’s quick, to the point and it even objectifies the lucky human who has inspired this lustful advance. Win-win all round.

#2 – The proposal…

“One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them”

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

When to use it: Getting down on one knee to pop the big question? Can’t find the words to match the ring? Look no further…

Why it works: This line says so much while saying so very little. First up, it demonstrates an awesome knowledge of The Lord Of The Rings, crucial for any successful marriage. It also implies that this marriage will last forever and ever, with a great deal of power on your behalf, yet remains realistic with regards to the ultimate misery you’ll both experience in your later years. What girl could refuse?

#1 – The wedding toast…

“Death is only the beginning”

The Mummy

When to use it: Ah, the proposal worked and now you’re married. Well done you. Now you have to make a speech…

Why it works: Oh, it’s witty and weirdly ominous at the same time. You’re joking around with the whole ‘marriage is the end of your life’ thing and yet, at the same time, allowing a teensy weensy grain of truth to slip into it. But nobody can call you a bad person, because you’re also suggesting that all the best stuff is waiting on the other side of this ‘metaphorical death’. Then again, you could just be saying your life is over and you can’t wait for the sweet release of the grave. Who knows?!