Lara Croft: Tomb Raider director Simon West has been confirmed as the helmsman for the depressingly inevitable sequel to last year’s surprise hit The Expendables, starring Sylvester Stallone as Principal Hard Man and featuring every other hard man ever as Some Hard Men. We do try to warn you that this will happen if you go and see dreadful films…

West, who recently directed Stallone’s co-star Jason Statham in the turgid remake of 70s ‘thriller’ The Mechanic, takes over from the Stallion himself as director for the next gory and over-muscled slab of Expendable action. Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews and Jet Li are all expected to return for the sequel, although Arnold Schwarzenegger’s current Hollywood moratorium makes another cameo for his character Trench seem unlikely.

Simon West’s filmography also includes Con Air, The General’s Daughter and When A Stranger Calls (ha!), and he’s on board to direct the forthcoming remake of 1985 Arnie vehicle Red Sonja. Is he enough to save this misbegotten project? Obviously not, but we can dream…