“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you… Three, four, better lock your door…” In 1984, writer-director Wes Craven unleashed one of cinema’s most iconic and dearly beloved boogiemen: Freddy Krueger. Dressed in an eye-catching red and green striped sweater and a beaten fedora, Freddy stalked his victims in their dreams, killing them with a glove of razor sharp knives. Craven officially laid his hideously-disfigured creation to rest in 1994 with the self-referential New Nightmare and now, more than 15 years later, Freddy is resurrected in a slick yet soulless remake that doesn’t have a clue how to scare an audience.

Director Ridley Scott and leading man Russell Crowe reunite for a thunderous new chapter in the legend of everyone’s favourite 12th century pick-pocketer. Shot with Scott’s typical bombast, this Robin Hood juxtaposes spectacular battle scenes with romantic interludes, political intrigue and melancholic flashbacks, all set to Marc Treitenfeld’s rumbustious score. It’s unabashedly macho and predictable with an inevitable battle cry for Crowe to rally the troops into action: Gladiarcher, if you will. No green tights in sight this time around, but it’s still good fun all the same.

Like, OMG you guys, team Twilight Eclipse has totally released a teaser clip of the new film! Unfortunately for teen hormones everywhere this isn’t your standard brood-off between Bella and Edward, rather showcasing more vampiric antics courtesy of Dakota Fanning – aka Jane.

Well, his comic-book might be, at least. Word is that Mark Hamill – that’s right, aka Luke bloody Skywalker – is finally going to have his face back in the media by adapting his comic-book series The Black Pearl for the big screen.

Miley Cyrus + the author of The Notebook and Dear John? A quirky but lovable character that finds herself in a heartwarming but ultimately doomed situation? Yep, you’re going to get exactly what you expect. The tweeny-pop sensation has essentially chosen the perfect vehicle in The Last Song for a transition from pop singer to… well… pop actress. But it is actually a film that will affect anyone other than her existing fan base? Probably not.

Everyone loves a buddy comedy, right? Sure the laughs are cheap, but generally they’re thick, fast and cheerful, with a plot that careers like an enthusiastic labrador to a satisfyingly predictable conclusion. Bless them, we say. Bless all who ride in them. Unless, of course, you’re talking about Hot Tub Time Machine; the laziest, dully-degrading, least funny bromance movie we’ve seen in some time, made all the more offensive by the evident comic potential of the cast. Oh dear oh dear. And the title was so awesome.

Cute and cuddly woodland creatures including squirrels, deer, mice and groundhogs are revolting. Revolting against the real estate developers, who are encroaching on their territory, razing acres of lush, natural habitat to make way for ecologically-unsound housing estates. In Roger Kumble’s family-orientated comedy, Mother Nature fights back tooth and claw (and hoof and feather) against the pesky human invaders. And Brendan Fraser is in it. For some reason.

Well, with the upcoming Monopoly movie (we know, we know) and the possibility of Cluedo, Stretch Armstrong and Battleships films on the horizon, why should anyone be surprised that a Rollercoaster Tycoon movie could be in the works?

A young woman faces a terrifying ordeal in J Blakeson’s accomplished feature directorial debut. The Disappearance Of Alice Creed is an edge of seat thriller that by its simple design – three characters trapped predominantly in one location – could easily have started life on the stage. The film even adopts a classic three act structure, bookmarked by twists that force us to re-evaluate the fragile balance of power.

Absence should make the heart grow fonder but has anyone missed Jennifer Lopez on the big screen during her four-year hiatus to raise fraternal twins with husband Marc Anthony? The slow-burning 1998 thriller Out Of Sight with George Clooney remains her best work, sandwiched between the camp B-movie Anaconda and numerous instantly-forgettable romantic comedies. Lopez makes her return to pouting in front of the camera in Alan Poul’s whimsical chick flick, which asserts that love happens when you least expect it. Excited? Yep.