Mental is an oddball comedy with meaningful things to say about the proliferation of psychiatric diagnoses in today’s society. It maintains an interesting narrative on the latent craziness that exists in all of us, and when the comedy is derived from this rapport with the audience it is exceedingly satisfying to watch. On the other hand, the majority of the film is utter, utter wank. Mental is as stable as a schizophrenic, but ultimately you’ll be the one lobotomised.

White shutters. Dry-cleaned clothes. Fresh flowers. A massive apartment in downtown New York. Nothing wrong with any of these things, except when the girl in the film is meant to be a dogwalker. These be the disgusting tales that chick flicks weave with their nail polished fingers, and we are all victims of their beautiful lies.

It’s been reported today that Sigourney Weaver is set to star alongside Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter (of Confessions of Shopaholic non-fame) in a new modern twist on the vampire flick. The film will tell the tale of happy young vampire girls, happily chewing their way through innocent men everywhere.

We’re all for brainless and fluffy rom-coms, they’re what this country was built on after all. However, Confessions Of A Shopaholic not only lacks depth, but is devoid of humour, charm and pace. With so many other films in this genre offering quirky comedy, razor wit and serious style, we’re less than impressed. Shopaholic? We’re not buying it.