CABIN IN THE WOODS IS OUT! Obviously that’s what you’re going to go and see this week, but if you’ve seen it already (we all have) then you might need some other ideas on how to use your Orange 2-4-1 voucher. Or you could just, you know, see Cabin in the Woods again. That’s what we’d do. Have done. Are doing, tonight, again. Whatever. FRUIT FRUIT FRUIT

What do you know about Kristin Scott Thomas? Exactly. She’s beautiful and French (except she isn’t, but you know) and she plays lots of tragic heroines and frigid upper-class women and generally people who look down their nose at the world until they suddenly have all the sex. If that’s it, you need this Cheat Sheet like KST needs a genteel chignon (clue: a lot)

Ah, the much whipped remake. Announcements of remakes more often than not get hackles up, heads shaking and tongues tutting. Dismissed before they’re released, judged before they’re seen, doomed forever to live in the shadow of their older sibling. But should they? With the news that Chloe Moretz is heading up the Carrie remake, we’ve decided to get all OPTIMISM on this thing.

More than forty years ago, radical director Ken Loach was hired to produce a documentary about the work of Save the Children. Last year it was shown publicly for the first time after a decades-long suppression campaign orchestrated by the charity itself. And this Thursday you can not only see it but hear the man himself discuss it. In Peckham. Thank God it’s Monday, eh?

You wake up one morning, only to discover that your parents have abandoned you in the homestead to fend for yourself. And at Christmastime no less! What now? If you were Kevin McAllister, you’d fearlessly defend yourself and your domicile against the invading hordes. But you’re not, so crack open mama’s special Grand Marnier and drink until your retinas detach.

Following the much anticipated opening of the new Harry Potter Studio Tour, we thought it was only fair that that we create a wipe-clean, drunk-friendly list of reasons you as human Muggles should part with your cash to essentially spend a few hours not being in the Harry Potter films. Presenting, the top 10 most pressing incentives to go and experience the magic of the films’ creation for yourself, as a handy acrostic poem (Dumbledore bloody LOVES this kind of stuff).

Remember how good Buffy was? And Firefly and Serenity? And Angel? And Firefly? DO YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU? Here at BFF we remember because, much like elephants well-versed in the art of watching films and TV shows and writing nonsense about them, WE NEVER FORGET ABOUT THOSE FILMS AND TV SHOWS. To cut a long story very short (because we’re all wetting ourselves over the release of Cabin in the Woods and need to get to the toilet pronto) we bring you a Top Ten list that would make even Terrence Malick quake in his hermit boots. So here, take these words and read them knowing there’s no way you will ever be as good a person as Joss Whedon. Oh, and, we should probably say….SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

To celebrate the release of groundbreaking nonsense Battleship, we’ve sailed the high seas of cinema in search of the silver screen’s best ever boats. Which is your favourite? The Pequod? La Amistad? The Potemkin? Yeah, none of them are in it.

It’s a Wednesday, and the aliens are here! It’s alright though, because they appear to be sea-dwelling aliens and there aren’t any cinemas at sea – your 2-4-1 deal is safe as houses, so crack on and enjoy (relatively) cheap film tickets before the world is incinerated! Hang on, what do you mean you don’t know what to watch?

LIAM NEESON IS A PROPER ACTOR, aint he? We know it, we know it in our heart of hearts. And yet, if we’re honest, it’s been a long road since the jolly old days of Schindler’s List. Can we forgive an Irish scamp The Next Three Days? Wrath Of The Titans? Attack Of The Clones? And more importantly, d’ya think Helen Mirren ever got over him dumping her? Oh that’s right, we’re getting to the proper stuff, it must be CHEAT SHEET O’CLOCK.