Get ready to say “Who?” to every name we mention.

There’s no such thing as a predictable superhero casting – all the best Avengers, X-Men and otherwise pumped-up persons are unlikely characters who stumble into their crime-fighting alter egos just as unexpectedly as do the actors cast to play them. With so many A-list actors now boasting a brush with superheroism on their CVs, we’ve come up with a few new suggestions…

This week we’ve decided to give the much under-appreciated Michael Fassbender a little cheat sheet of his own. The multi-accented, bi-lingual, self-starving (only for a role) actor is having a pretty good time of it at the moment, so it’s time to see how he’s got there, and where he’s going.

Jonah Hex is arguably what you’d get if you transposed Van Helsing to 1876 Virginia, stripped every joke and ironic line out of the script, replaced the mediocre CGI vampires with dreadful CGI corpses and then forcefully raped John Malkovich’s reputation with a branding iron. It’s spectacularly awful.