Eat a bag of dicks, Bret. It’ll cheer you up.

The premise of Magic Mike‘s is already attractive enough, as a film unapologetically tailored to the difficult-to-please female gaze. Cue our surprise when it outed itself as a skinfest with smarts. Beautiful production, gorgeous attention to detail and an interesting picture of the clash between reality and fantasy come together to make Channing Tatum less the butt of ‘dumb jock’ jokes and more just a very fine butt.

In Time is any studio exec’s dream. High-concept but easily simplified sci-fi, PLUS a distinctly un-futuristic set with just one really memorable visual tag which can be dragged out for all the posters, PLUS a plot point which means you can literally cast Olivia Wilde as Justin Timberlake’s mum? Gold, all of it. And the amazing thing is, In Time could have had all these and still been good. Unfortunately, twelve thousand temporal puns do not a watchable film make.