It’s set in Asda, or something. Sad is the day that we long for Paul W S Anderson to return

While critically condemned, the Resident Evil franchise has nevertheless achieved considerable commercial success and enjoyed a wide audience. That’s all likely to change after Resident Evil: Retribution, a film so laughably incapable, so shamelessly derivative and so woefully unengaging that it’ll likely succeed where its zombie antagonists have failed… in mortally wounding Milla Jovovich’s Alice.

You’ve seen the lists of forthcoming blockbusters, superheroes and potential Oscar-fodder, but what are the 2012 films you haven’t heard of and have no interest in seeing? H Anthony Hildebrand has all the inessential (and made up) details.

Ewww…. Ahhhh…. Eeeesh… That doesn’t go there! Let’s be honest: you don’t want to read this article and we’re really sorry we wrote it. Mildly NSFW, and seriously NSFSanity.

Well, it’s pretty hard to argue with the stats. Resident Evil: The Afterlife opened at the number one spot in the US, even though reviews all around have been pretty lukewarm. The makers have taken this as indication that the world is baying for more Resident Evil action, and have confirmed that number 5 will be getting made. Whoopee.