Let The Right One In director Tomas Alfredson has taken the helm of the new adaptation of The Brothers Lionheart – frankly, we’re just staggered by the fact that not one but two separate studios have wanted to introduce new generations of kids to Astrid Lindgren’s deeply odd classic. The Wikipedia entry for the first film notes, gravely, that it is “softened a bit [from the book] and does not explicitly show the brothers committing suicide”, which probably tells you all you need to know. In dubious celebration of Alfredson’s odd career choices, we’ve collected ten other children’s books that should never have been committed to celluloid.

Do you know what? Good Friday is depressing. It’s all about Jesus dying, in pain and agony, and we can’t think of a more misleading religious holiday. It should be called… I dunno, BAD Friday. DEAD Friday. Something more honest, at least. Whatever. Because we’re good people, we’re going to inject the ‘Good’ back into our Friday with lots of alcohol and plenty of Jesus-fuelled fun. it’s what he would’ve wanted…

Everyone’s favourite stealth Irishman is back, shooting even more disenfranchised Albanians in the statistically inevitable Taken 2. But why would you subject yourself to any of Liam Neeson’s new films (except The Grey) without a really massive drink? Well, now you don’t need to! CAUTION: do not attempt to ski after playing this drinking game.

Aslan is back and working in yet more mysterious ways as the younger Pevensies return to Narnia with their unsuspecting cousin. Tasked with delivering the Seven Swords of the Seven Lords to Aslan’s Table (lions don’t have opposable thumbs, you see), the threesome are individually tested as they continue their Narnian adventures. After the disappointing Prince Caspian, can Michael Apted bring magic and wonder back to the world beyond the wardrobe?

With the massive success of Wicked – the musical that tells The Wizard Of Oz from the Wicked Witch’s point of view, and the announcement that Disney plan to release a film about Malificent – the witch from Sleeping Beauty, it seems everyone wants to take a fresh look at an old tale. Screw the good guys, it’s all about the other side of the coin.