No one can be bothered to go to the cinema anymore.

It’s that time of year again! The 13th Film 4 Frightfest is upon us, and promises all kinds of beautiful terror in its four day programme. From Geordie clown murderers to scalping Freud-botherers, from Cockney spade wavers to demonic mouth creepers – there’s certainly no way whatever sick lust you have can’t be satiated. But what should you start with? That’s where we step in…

What a set of lungs, young lady.