Another week, another freshly baked batch of films vying for your attention. Which will you see? If only there was some way of watching all the good bits in three minutes and deciding if you want to fill in the gaps – oh, wait…

You’re going to be using that seductive brain of yours ALL WEEK, the very least you can do is let it re-charge on a Sunday. Presenting this week’s releases in a coma-friendly format – just point your eyes towards the screen, shout “PUT THE KETTLE ON” in the direction of a minion and click to your heart’s content.

Remember last week? Remember last week when tomorrow was sort of SUNDAY AGAIN because of the magic of last week? Yeah, well that’s not how this tomorrow’s going to work, big boy. Monday is on its way like some mad, Taylor Lautner based dribbling hell hound, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Except promise you that there are, at least, NEW FILMS afoot! Trailers ho!

Wahey! Bank holiday! A whole extra day off, it’s like you never have to go back to work again, isn’t it? But you will. It’s happening, and if anything, it will be worse than anything you can possibly imagine. So why try and engage your brain just yet? This week’s releases in lovely trailer format – wrap that poor mind of yours around some soothing flashy noise.

Ever-lurking like the memory of the time you did that really awful thing, we will never, ever be free of Monday. The best we can do is run into its embrace with a knife behind our back, willing to stab it six ways from Friday evening. We’re a bit lost now, to be honest, but let’s commiserate the start of another week by devouring this week’s top releases: the trailer editions.

Your brain is gearing up for another week of think-filth, so who can blame you for spending your final hours of freedom gawping cheerily into nothingness? There are BRAND NEW films out this week, and all of them have splendid, noisy trailers. Stop trying to read anything, leave the washing-up where it is and promise yourself you’ll definitely change your sheets in an hour or so – WATCHING TRAILERS IS NOW!

It’s Monday tomorrow and, unlike all those other rubbish Mondays, this one’s a Bank Holiday. Blessed be the day off! What better way to spend our extra 24 hours of freedom than with all of the FILMS OUT THIS WEEK!!!

Monday tomorrow, innit? Nay bother, let the noisy world of FILMS OUT THIS WEEK drift over your eyes like a lovely, expensive breeze, and ponder what you should watch this week as a reward for being ever so good. Who needs words when you have movey movey pictures, after all?

Yep, the coming week is mere moments away. Quite a lot of moments, admittedly, but look at them – all lined up ready to throw themselves into the ever-thinning gulf between you and Monday morning. Still, at least there are NEW FILMS to be watched. And what better way to decide on what to feast your face on then by watching the trailers? Yes, there are loads of better ways, but this way is mega-easy.

Ahhhh Sunday. The day where pure, unadulterated Watching is, legally, the only thing any self-respecting human can do. Hang up those thoughts of productivity – they can wait till Monday. Settle down into your pants, get trailer happy, and figure out what you’ll be watching this week…