The UK has just been hit by the world’s least impressive storm, and it’s got us thinking about some tempests that actually delivered on their promises. And, obviously, they’re all in films – why is real life never as good?

We hate it when you wander into a movie expecting one thing from the title and being delivered something else entirely. Remember how disappointed everyone was to discover The Godfather wasn’t a sweet, wholesome family drama? Exactly. Here’s five movies that should have stuck to their literal plots…

Having said tearful goodbyes to our latest band of innocent intern dream-punchers, it’s left to the haggard founders to drag the tattered decorations of ORANGE WEDNESDAYS HURRAH out of storage, and hang them in the now silent corridors of Best For Film towers. It’s never the same, but WE MUST GO ON. Sigh. At least we’ve got Winnie the Pooh, eh?

Pooh Bear, Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo and Christopher Robin return to the screen for their first canon outing in 34 years; this time they’re on the hunt for Eeyore’s lost tail, whilst trying to rescue Christopher Robin from the terrible Backson and find Tigger a friend to bounce with. And is it really so unreasonable of Pooh to want a little honey to look forward to? Prepare to haemorrhage nostalgia.

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…