With Jake Gyllenhaal shoved in a holding cell all on his lonesome for a fair part of Source Code, sci-fi movies continue to love a loner. Let’s look at the those who believe that, unless they’re safely in another galaxy, other people can be just a little bit clingy.

What do you expect from a Michael Bay film? Ridiculous action? Slow-motion? Orange skies when there really shouldn’t be any? What about horribly crude stereotypes? Bring it.

Since little Saoirse Ronan has come out all freckled and hard as nails in Hanna, it got us thinking about other kick-ass girl tweens that could give Bruce lee a good hiding. You don’t want to mess with any of these chicks. Not that you would. They’re not even real, man.

The road trip movie is an enduring film genre that has produced more than a few film gems. Let’s hope that in this particular Top 10 list we managed to pick one of your favourites. Even if one of our favourites stars a notorious bigot…

Who are the most baked, caned, hopped-up or tripped-out characters in movie history? Here, in the sort of order which can only really be dreamt up through a haze of quaaludes, mescaline and Night Nurse, are our top ten.

Escape real-life horror this 2011 with the lovely dark thrill of the cinema. We’ve got a grab-bag of the top (nearly) 30 best horror films in 2011, from franchise blockbuster to indie foreign horror. Actually, 28. We had 30 but the last two were rubbish.

Animated short The Incident at Tower 37 qualified for the 2011 Oscars – and it was been released for free online yesterday (World Water Day). It follows the lone steward of a water processing station which siphons every drop of water from a once-pristine lake. When two unexpected guests arrive, the tower’s operator learns the high cost of his ignorance…

Once upon a time there was porn – good, ole’ fashioned, plotless porn that seemed destined to forever roam the private nether-regions of the entertainment industry alone. But smut desperately desired to be taken seriously, and Hollywood needed a harder…edge. It took one dexterous stroke of genius to bring the two concepts to simultaneous, mainstream fruition, and it wasn’t Sheen the Machine, nor was it one night misspent in Paris, but instead the reflexively novel idea of making films about (porno) films…

In many ways, film posters exist outside the tightly wrought bonds of grammar and punctuation. As stepping stones to another higher, inherently visual medium they do not have to conform to the petty linguistic scrabblings that the rest of us mere mortals cut our gums over. They can damn well do whatever they please; whatever it takes to get across their meaning. Except, of course, they obviously can’t. Obviously.

How do you know what you’re going to see at the cinema next month? You’re busy people – Facebook won’t update itself, and you’ve probably got a relationship to neglect or something. Oh, you haven’t? Sorry. Well, there’s no point in trying to meet another human adult now, you may as well just read this blog.