This documentary following the annual World’s Ugliest Dog Contest is sweet, funny and at times, very poignant. PLUS LOOK AT ALL THE FUNNY DOGGIES. They’re so ugly and cute at the same time it blows my mind. Apart from that one with the red eye. That is one terrifying red eye right there.

WARNING: do not watch this film near children, your parents, or vulnerable dogs. Or in an office surrounded by people with eyes. Or alone in a dark room. It’s rapey and also a bit just like porn at times. And there’s a crossbow! And more rape. Just maybe avoid it altogether if you’re not a fan of the things I just said.

What is it with low budget debuts and terrible bloody titles? Unfortunately, unlike the surprisingly good A Spanking In Paradise, Pinching Penny shows promise but is crippled by its own adolescence.

Daniel Craig goes all Doctor Doolittle in this fun little documentary that tries to convince us that, deep down,we’re not so different from the animals. Actually, as it turns out,that only applies to Daniel Craig.

What would happen if the creators of Catfish, Doctor Who and Saw all got together, downed a few pints and then decided to make a film? Why, you’d get Panic Button of course!

A lovely lady and her video camera go round the streets of LA and follow the lives of a half dozen homeless across the course of a few years. Hilarity ensues. Wait, it doesn’t? Oh, you mean it’s actually quite depressing? Also a bit uplifting? Well, that sounds worth a watch.

George A. Romero, Godfather of living dead men and big, bad rep behind Night, Day and Dawn of zombie cinema is probably Deadtime Stories‘ sole draw-card, and no doubt the only thing to compel any compos mentis horror fan to suffer through its bore/gorefest ridiculousness.

Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are the two most adorable hillbillies ever to buy a dilapidated summer home and then be attacked by a group of perky college kids who believe them to be psycho killers. Funny, touching, gruesome, quirky: if you’ve ever loved us, WATCH THIS MOVIE AND SPREAD THE LOVE.

The wait is over. The moment has finally come. A ski film starring Michael Madsen, Kellan Lutz AND Luke Goss. Well, actually the moment came three years ago, but whatever. The real question is, what is Luke Goss of Eighties band Bros fame doing in this film? And why do people have names like ‘Kellan Lutz’?

Strange, romantic, thoughtful, touching and creepy all at once, this indie oddity from first-time filmmaker Kenton Bartlett was made on a shoestring budget but – one dodgy blonde wig aside – it doesn’t show.