When a night out is looming; looming like an home-made piece of cloth, and all you have to hand is your Ma’s gentle DVD collection, it’s important to have a plan. Mainly because you’re apparently on a night out organised by your mum. Luckily for you, we are made of plans. Plans and bits of plan glue and then even more plans. We present our home grown Notting Hill drinking game – apologises to your liver in advance.

Take 1 sip when:

Hugh Grant’s hair is conveying whatever emotion his face is too British to display.
BONUS DRINK if you can successfully pin-point the specific brand of melancholy he’s attempting at the time; “embarrassed coy”, “modest but triumphant”, “on fire” etc

Anyone’s clothes or accessories become central to either the plot or a hilarious Richard Curtis joke
Think glasses, orange juice and “chicks love grey”

META Julia Roberts
whenever we see her ACTING that she’s ACTING. If you can’t take that level of intellectual prowess, just drink whenever she looks a bit cross.

Take 2 sips when:

A joke happens that only British people would find funny
Essentially whenever anyone says the word “trousers”.

An amusing scenario SUDDENLY ASSUMES AN UNEXPECTEDLY WEIGHTED SERIOUSNESS
British comedy isn’t all just fat-momma jokes and people screaming “oh HELL NAH” you know.

London looks a lot nicer than it actually is
DANGER: dedication to this rule may result in hospitalization.

DOWN IT YOU PANSIES when

SEASONS MONTAGE happens without warning
It’s like you’re drinking THROUGH TIME
(NB anyone who doesn’t last the entire year must eat a tub of mayonnaise. Anyone who doesn’t understand the reference must also eat a tub of mayonnaise)

You run out of mayonniase

Your heart feels bloody well warmed even against your every will
BONUS DRINK: if this phenomenon happens in tandem with another player, those in question must both stand naked, shivering and ashamed whilst the rest of the group shout “YOU SAY IT BEST… WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AND YOU’RE NAKED” and pelt them with jaunty Portobello Road apples.