Friday Drinking game #68 – Christopher Walken
Time to close out Walken Week in style. No preamble. Let’s do this thing.
Take a sip:
Whenever Christopher Walken touches his face
He’s always touching his face. Considering how enviable this action is for most of the human race, he’s probably just taking advantage of the fact that the only person on Earth who can touch Christopher Walken’s face without getting their fingers bitten off is Christopher Fucking Walken.
Whenever Christopher Walken takes a perfectly normal sentence and makes it weird
What the hell kind of accent is that anyways? Maybe a stiff drink will help you understand him better. Take a sip and perform your best Christopher Walken impression! Don’t lie, you know you have one!
Whenever Christopher Walken gives someone the Evil Eye
Voodoo curses aren’t as threatening as the old stink-eye from Christopher Walken. Take a sip and call your doctor in the morning; you may have internal haemorrhage simply from the malevolence of his gaze.
Take two sips:
Whenever Christopher Walken has phenomenal hair.
As Christopher Walken himself once said, “My hair was famous before I was”, and for good reason. It’s astounding how high those hair-dos can get whilst still maintaining structural integrity. Two sips for the helmet hair!
Whenever Christopher Walken looks FUCKING CRAZY.
We know that Christopher Walken is almost permanently crazy-looking, but when that constant level of madness topples over and the beast inside can be glimpse through the bars of the cage that is his face, take a big two sips, a deep breath, and try not to cry.
Whenever Christopher Walken shows off his dance moves.
It’s a well known fact that Christopher Walken sneaks a bit of a dance in almost every film he’s in. It can be sometimes hard to spot a quick pas de bourree, but if you do, take two sips for the swift-of-foot Walken.
Take three sips:
Whenever Christopher Walken completely steals a scene
Lookit! Look at little Dennis Hopper trying to go toe to toe with Christoper Walken! Poor baby Dennis Hopper can’t do a thing. Whenever Christopher Walken puts on an acting clinic for everyone else in the film, take a hearty three sips!
Whenever Christopher Walken smiles that beautiful smile
Christopher Walken doesn’t smile much, but when he does it’s something of a special occasion. Being only the merest imitation of what other humans would consider “smiling”, he does at least try, although it resembles more beast than man. It is not often known that Christopher Walken was up for a part in Jaws. Many presume that this was for the role of Quint, but in actuality, it was for the shark.
Whenever Christopher Walken makes you wonder “What the fuck is going on in this movie!?”
“Do you know how you got that dent, in your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said Shhhhhhhhhhh!”
“A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman’s got twenty, but a guy’s got seventeen.”
“A man can be an artist… in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey’s art is death. He’s about to paint his masterpiece.”
What the fuck are you talking about, Chris!?
One shot? ALL THE SHOTS. DOWN ALL THE SHOTS:
Every time Christopher Walken delivers a monologue that makes your womb quiver.
Pulp Fiction. True Romance. Man on Fire. Poolhall Junkies. When Christopher Walken is in your movie, you give him a monologue or you’ll regret it. Just let that camera roll and Chris will do his thing. He’s phenomenal. He’s perfect. Every. Single. Time.
Here’s to you, Christopher Walken! His latest film, Seven Psychopaths is out next week. For more Walken than you could shake a watch at, check out our Top 10 Christopher Walken Moments, and our Christopher Walken Cheat Sheet!