Friday Face/Off: Harrison Ford
Have you ever had such a strong hatred for an actor that you feel incensed by the thought that anyone could actually like them? Or perhaps you have been scorned by someone slagging off your beloved favourite performer? We’ve all been there – it seems that one man’s trash is almost always another man’s treasure. We take a look at some of these troubesome characters who have the ability to divide the nation.
This week, we decide if Harrison Ford is a grumpy dull bore with a flabby face or an action supremo in need of some Oscars. It seems here at Best For Film we fall into two camps- those that love, those that hate. Read on for a fully fledged, sort of educated rant and let us know who you agree with.
For the defence:
The question is, how cool is it possible to be whilst wearing a yellow polo neck? The answer, if you are Harrison Ford, is very. From Han Solo to Indiana Jones, Ford has proven that you don’t have to be extremely buff to be an action hero- just devilishly good looking.
Star Wars was where it started, when -as Han Solo- Ford quipped his way around the galaxy relying on nothing but his wits. He was cheeky and bitchy in equal measure, so cocky and self-assured that Luke looks like a wet fish in comparison. Whether it was his touching friendship with Chewy, his chemistry with the feisty Leia or his older brother type protectiveness of Luke, Solo was the glue that held those movies together. And when you think of how awesomely successful they are, well, that is quite an achievement.
Then, as if being the saviour of the universe wasn’t enough, Ford goes and stars in Indiana Jones as a friggin’ professor and still manages to maintain heart throb status. Mere mortals wail howwwwww, how can he wear tweed and glasses and be as cool as a cucumber in a freezer? The answer- because he just damn is. He is tough, brave, resourceful, reasonably unflappable and has no problems scoring with the ladies. Plus these movies gave Ford a chance to demonstrate that he can do more than just run around shooting things. He can run around lassoing things too. And he has the best hat ever seen on screen.
And just when we had pigeonholed Ford as an action hero, he decides to branch out, with The Fugitive, Air Force One, Patriot Games and What Lies Beneath. As well as doing super scary, he does devoted husband and President of the United States. That is quite a range! So you see Ford is a legend in so many ways. He has given us two of the best trilogies ever (and yes I am ignoring the fourth Indiana Jones. Not because Ford was bad, but because the plot was. Boo) and he has given us some classic characters that cinema goers will remember forever. The man can act. The man is good looking in a rugged dishevelled way. The man can pull off knee length leather boots. He has been nominated for Academy Awards and Golden Globes, and he has a career spanning decades. Clearly, this is a living legend of the movie world.
Oh, and on the coolness factor, did I mention he is a qualified pilot, is one of only fifty people worldwide to be banned from Tibet and does a lot of his own stunts? Harrison Ford is a real life action hero masquerading as a highly successful actor and anyone who says he is overrated or past it is a lunatic of epic proportions. So there.
By Becky Hart
For the Prosecution
This is who should’ve been Indiana Jones. That’s right, bitches, it’s Tom Selleck. Can Harrison Ford grow a magnificent soup strainer like that? I doubt it.
As soon as I agreed to do Harrison Ford for the Friday Face/Off I was instantly regretting the decision. Ok, I thought, let’s go to Wikipedia, home of all that is definitely true and not biased in any way. There must be some dirt which has been glossed over by PR. Maybe he killed a man, just like Laura Bush! With my fingers crossed for some sort of death, I scoured the web. Nope – nothing. He was a freakin boy scout, and helped other boys get their reptile merit badge. You can put any ‘trouser-snake’ euphemisms out of your mind; he helped boys study actual, non-phallic snakes. America is a strange place, isn’t it? His first two wives both had the initials M.M., which would definitely invite conspiracy theory if his third marriage was to Marilyn Monroe (as well as making him a necrophile), but he had to go and ruin that too, by marrying Ally McBeal.
Anyway, he became a carpenter when TV roles began to dry up, before starring in the hugely successful franchises of Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Yet, my disdain for him remains. Becky can be like, oh, but he’s Indiana Jones and Han Solo all she likes. I care not – he didn’t actually fight dark forces, people. He ran around on set with a plastic toy. Admittedly, he was pretty cute when hugging Chewbacca and Chewbacca babies in the much maligned Star Wars Christmas special, but that’s because he’s happiest in the comfort of his own species. And this is my reason for Harrison Ford based hatred. He’s just so darn slow, chimp-like, and dull as the proverbial doorknob. I feel mean talking about his looks, because god knows Time is the cruel mistress of us all, but he’s starting to look like Grizzly Adams with chinos on.
In a Jimmy Kimmel interview, he has to count up to six using his fingers, which suggests he was dropped on his head as a baby. He is surly, slooow as a paralyzed bandicoot, and I’m pretty sure he’s stoned. You’re the leading man in Hollywood, pal. Your films have grossed over $6 billion at the worldwide box office. You could buy and sell the entire team at Best for Film (though to be fair, we are quite cheap). What the hell have you got to be so grumpy about? Add to this some shoddy performances in Random Hearts, Six Days Seven Nights, and the terrible, terrible, K-19: The Widowmaker, and you’re left with the original Kristen Stewart: sullen, monotone, and almost always high as a kite.
By Georgina Lavers