Sophie (will expelliamus the ass of any muggle who gets in her way)
The wizard, the marvel, the wonder that is Harry Potter has graced our screens for the last time (sob) and millions around the world are surely mourning the end of one of, if not the best, movie franchises EVER! Harry Potter has been such a large part of our lives, from when he first heard the words “You’re a wizard Harry” to his climactic battle with slit-nosed Voldemort. What will we all do now he’s gone? Embrace Twilight with fully open arms? Or sit for hours on a train hoping that we to can create a multimillion pound franchise loved by the world? Either way we will all shed a tear for the boy who lived.

Harry (lives in the cupboard next to the kitchen)
Which one is it now? Harry Potter and the Gibbon of Shame? Harry Potter and the Muskrat of Bile? Harry Potter and the Shower of Shit? I’ve lost count. The only good thing about the last film coming out is that it is, hopefully, the last we’ll ever hear from JK Rowling. I’m sure she doesn’t have enough time to write anything else now anyway, given her days are probably spent accruing colds just so she can blow her nose on £50 notes. Ah, remember the days when films weren’t designed to JUST make money?

Sophie
DESIGNED TO MAKE MONEY?! Are you indeed mad Harry Harris? Are you indeed forgetting that the Harry Potter franchise were indeed books first, and that J.K Rowling had NO intention of making them into films, AND she was very reluctant to turn them into films when first approached? I spit on your comment, it’s purely preposterous! Harry Potter is a fantastic series of books and would have all been worse off had we not experienced them come to life on the screen. How very dare you.

Harry
I’m sure she was reluctant, until they placed a massive bumper cheque underneath her nose. I’m sure she was reluctant about turning the series into a theme park too, but look how that one turned out. It’s not that the films are bad per se, it’s just that they exemplify everything that’s wrong with the film industry today. People who go and see the films know exactly what they’re going to get. They buy their ticket, buy their popcorn, turn off their brain and let the wizardy drivel wash over their brainwashed melting faces. There’s better stuff out there being completely overshadowed, and this makes me sad 🙁

Sophie
Ok maybe you have a point there, but who cares. If I had created the wonderful world of Hogwarts then I would in fact DEMAND a bumper cheque. Wizardy drivel? WIZARDY DRIVEL? You can’t knock the films if you loved the books. Everyone knows that the books are untouchable but the films stay so loyal that they can in no way be considered bad. And, if you please, this is not some simpleton story full of special effects and bad acting! This is Harry Potter – a set of films that containing the best acting talent our country has to offer, and do you know why? Because they deserve the best, including your respect Harry Harris!

Harry
Best acting talent our country has to offer maybe, but all doing caricatured, campy roles that hardly stretch them to the limits of their acting capabilities. If there’s one thing that these films won’t be remembered for, it’s the acting. And don’t say that the first films don’t count because they’re children and so shouldn’t be expected to act well, because that’s rubbish. Bill Milner, the little boy in Son Of Rambow, Sex, Drugs & Rock And Roll and Is Anybody There? is roughly the same age as Daniel Radcliffe et al were when they started, and he’s not utterly shit. Hopefully now this franchise is over Britain will start investing money in, y’know, interesting stuff, maybe?

Sophie
Campy? Who exactly was campy (Dumbledore excluded), no-one said it stretched them to the limits of their acting abilities, but the films wouldn’t have been the same without them. Are you telling me that you can imagine anyone else playing any of those roles? No it wasn’t their biggest challenge, but please, Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange was pure deluded brilliance, Alan Rickman as Professor Snape struck fear into all our hearts. I could go on. And actually, if you ask me, the three leads acted brilliantly (with the exception of the second film – bleugh) ESPECIALLY in this last film – in which they managed to draw tears from nearly everyone who saw it.

Harry
We’ve seen Helena Bonham Carter put on make-up, back comb her hair and act a little kooky in about a million films, she can do better, as can Alan Rickman, and every other member of the British acting elite who milked this cash-cow for all it was worth. I guess I don’t blame them really, I’m sure it was an easy pay-day for them and maybe as a consequence the actors involved can now do some lower budget films for less money. Maybe. Not that I’m saying that low budget = better, but it would be nice if distributors and producers took a chance on the things that make films great: acting, story, direction, rather than just special effects and commercial tie-ins. Films can be works of art, after all.

Sophie
Harry…are you just upset that people called you Harry Potter as a youngster? Just put aside you unnecessary disdain and join the world for a nice pint of butterbeer.

Harry
Mine’s a Fruli, thankyou very much.

Does Harry Potter get your wand in a knot or could you play Quidditch till you die? Let us know below

By Sophie Worrell and Harry Harris