Carlotta:
Let’s get one thing clear; hating Rachel McAdams is like hating flowers and sunshine and pretty things that make you all warm and happy inside. She is perfectly harmless and attacking her through your VERBAL BULLYING will be like throwing darts at a helpless kitten. Is that what you like doing, John? Throwing darts at kittens? Who the hell are you. For starters, McAdams has been in two of the most iconic films of our decade. They may be swept under the carpet, shamefully deemed ‘guilty pleasures’, but there’s no denying that Mean Girls and The Notebook are brilliant films and I KNOW YOU LOVE THEM REALLY. What’s more, McAdams plays two entirely different characters in both and each one shows her at her best – likeable, sweet yet confused Allie in the heart-wrenching Notebook, and the ultimate Queen Bee in Mean Girls. She rocks. End of.

John:
Oh, you did NOT just describe The Notebook as ‘iconic’. You did not just do that. Is ‘self-preservation’ just an assemblage of noises to you, Carlotta? Queen of Bland Rachel McAdams has spent her entire career to date layering every film she’s in with a bland, tasteless layer of dull, obliterating her co-stars’ efforts whenever she’s in a good film and adding to the crushing ennui when (usually) she isn’t. Alright, we all enjoyed Mean Girls – but do you know how long ago it came out? Nine years ago, that’s how long.

Marlon Brando didn’t get to ride The Godfather for nine years, there’s no way I’m letting McAdams carry on dining off a film so old it predates the first time Lindsay Lohan had to turn to her own labia to find a shootable vein. McAdams is just the sort of dull, identikit Hollywood blonde that stars like Jennifer Lawrence are rightly wiping off the map, and I hate her.

Carlotta:
Queen of BLAND?! I’m sorry, didn’t we already do a Nicole Kidman face/off? Bland schmand; she may have had her fair share of romantic drama fails, but I entirely blame the writing for the characters that McAdams could have taken on with full vigour. And she could have. Seriously. And what’s with all this “that film was so long ago it doesn’t even count” rubbish? Of course it counts. If you’re bringing Jennifer Lawrence into it, then 9 years ago, McAdams was the Jennifer Lawrence of her day. Everyone fawned over Hollywood’s new TALENTED blonde – who, actually, managed and has still managed to stay out of the papers because she isn’t an attention-seeking whore unlike the rest of Hollywood’s “identikit blondes”.

Okay, so she doesn’t star in Oscar-nominated films – so what? Maybe she just doesn’t take herself as seriously as J-Law. Maybe she makes films that she enjoys; a simple, pleasurable enough film that she can make a few bucks off and then disappear and come back and make another one. Who wouldn’t like to be able to do that?

John:
Just so we’re clear, is your defence of Rachel McDonalds (double the sugar, half the taste) that she makes forgettable, uninspired films for the money? I thought that was supposed to be my line! There’s simply no room in my heart for actresses – or actors – who don’t want to push the bubble a little – McAdams is demonstrably comfortable taking her safe, boring roles, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with her. I’d have infinitely more time for the woman if she made an avant-garde horror or a well-thought-out drama or ANYTHING that didn’t have Nicholas Sparks’ grubby fingerprints all over it – even if the film was a flop, at least we’d be able to see that she was trying. Mediocrity and apathy will be the death of Hollywood, and if there was any justice they’d be the death of Rachel McAdams too. May she choke on her self-satisfied, unimaginative CV.

Carlotta:
Well stuff you and your blatant ignorance for McAdams’ filmography. HELLO RED EYE. Thriller meets drama meets director Wes Craven. Flop it all you like – Red Eye shows you McAdams in a different light – exactly like you demanded – and it’s all nail-biting tension throughout. And are you not forgetting the reason we’re here in the first place? Terrence Malick’s latest film To The Wonder is devoid of any lingering Nicholas Sparks sugary pestilence – starring McAdams alongside (YES THAT’S RIGHT) best director best picture best everything under the sun Ben Affleck, as well as the God-like Javier Bardem. That’s not even the first time she’s “tried” either. She starred in independant film Married Life alongside Pierce Brosnan, which premiered at the Toronto Film Festival. The film itself may not have garnered worldwide attention – but McAdams acting was particularly noted. Shove that in your pompous bubble.

John:
To The Wonder might present McAdams in a different light, I’ll grant you, but Red Eye? That came out the year after Mean Girls – my point regarding her latter-day laziness stands. And even if we take Red Eye (which was all about Cillian Murphy anyway, and you know it) at face value, what else did McAdams get up to that year? She made Wedding Crashers, possibly the most boring film ever to feature Will Ferrell trying to score with bereaved girls, and The Family Stone, in which she played second fiddle to Sarah Jessica Findusburger. Actually, second fiddle is far too optimistic – McAdams’ piddly little role probably doesn’t even qualify her as a violinist. She’s a viola at best – thumping away doing the bits nobody cares about, forever uncomfortably aware that she’s just not good enough to catch the conductor’s eye. All you’ve done here is make me hate her for being rubbish in an orchestra that never existed.

Carlotta:
Don’t even get me started on Cillian Murphy; an overgrown baby with a tragically irksome personality and wholly overrated. But I’ll save that for another face/off. You seriously need to get over this whole “films made before 2012 don’t count” thing, because it makes it strikingly difficult to have an ACTUAL DEBATE. But if we’re going to address McAdam’s apparent latter-day laziness, then I will happily point out that after To The Wonder she’ll be appearing in A Most Wanted Man opposite Philip Hoffman; a crime drama adapted from John le Carré’s novel of the same name and swimming in serious subjects, like, you know, the international War on Terror. Not lounging on her barcalounger any more, is she?

AND WEDDING CRASHERS WAS FUN. Conclusion: you are not.

John:
Carlotta, listen to yourself! Overexposure to McAdams’ IMDb page has left you blunt and callous, concerned only with banking your next paycheque and hitting the road to break Ryan Gosling’s heart all over again. This is McAdams’ legacy – she’s like spray laminate for the soul, leaving her victims gleamingly presentable but devoid of passion and emotion. Do the right thing, Carlotta, and abandon your cruel mistress. A Most Wanted Man will be rubbish, I bloody love le Carré and even I can admit that. Let it go.

Carlotta:
YOU’RE WRONG, JOHN! (By the way, I like how you assume that I could break Ryan’s heart, excellent head-boost and compliment there.) I have nothing more to offer you than a few Mean Girls quotes to soften that hard exterior of yours: “Nice hair, Janice, what’s it made of?” “YOUR MOM’S CHEST HAIR!”. Defending McAdams has turned me into a peace sign where all I want to do is be happy for the rest of my days. Hasn’t she done a good thing, turning me into a carefree skipper?

McAdams is a lively little firecracker in a bleak world of Nicholas Sparks novels; a talented actress who doesn’t get the breaks that she deserves, but nevertheless tries anyway. What a sport.

John:
If it wasn’t for Rachel McAdams, Nicholas Sparks would be dead by now. No Dear John, no The Lucky One, no Safe Haven (out this Friday, masochism fans!) – just Sparks’ loathsome brains sprayed across a quaint lakehouse somewhere in America. Think on that next time you’re chattering away about her like a demented, loved-up squirrel. Pfft.

Carlotta:
Boo, you whore.

Where do you stand on the McAdams debate? Let us know below!

By Carlotta Eden and John Underwood