Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #62

*With sunshine straining through the rocky walls of BFF Towers, our noble team decide to announce this week’s chosen cinematic warriors from the very meadows of the fictional kingdom itself. Sadly, they are not really built for natural light.*

Tash (burnt to a freckled crisp after accidentally looking through a window):

All you should care about this week is 21 Jump Street. Ignore the trailer, the trailer is bollocks, and ignore the posters, they are also bollocks. This is a super-smart, dazzlingly funny pastiche of both the buddy-cop and grossout-teen genres, showcasing an actually properly funny Channing Tatum. Like, really. Created by Phil “Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs” Lord, there’s just no excuse for not going and laughing your delightful lungs up. I’ll be illegally feeding my lemon to the animals this week and avoiding We Bought A Zoo. Matt Damon, I love you, but do I want to watch you wearily fall in love with Scarlett Johansson as you both gratefully look at a zebra? No.

Orange Choice: 21 Jump Street
Ultimate Lemon: We Bought A Zoo


Kayleigh (Eyes melted, lips parched):

I really want to talk about The Hunger Games. I really NEED to talk about The Hunger Games. But Tash, cruel editor that she is, insists my juicy orange be passed on to a film which is actually out in cinemas. A little bit like the Peacekeepers of Panem might. Ahem. Anyway, fine. be that way. The Raven can have an orange, solely because I think it’ll have you (unintentionally) amused throughout. Even John Cusack doesn’t think it’s any good AND HE’S THE RAVEN! Or Edgar Allen Poe. My lemon, on the other hand, is being squirted in the eyes of anyone involved in the making of The Devil Inside. True story? True story my EYE! If I want to see a woman speaking in tongues, I’ll head to my local Oceana.

Orange Choice: The Raven
Ultimate Lemon: The Devil Inside


David (searching for water or Guinness, Guinness if we’re honest):

Though it is hard for me to turn down 21 Jump Street after Tasha’s glowing, eloquent recommendation earlier today (“It’s a nice alternative to something shit”), I’m using my two for one pass to see¬†Agnieszka Holland’s acclaimed In Darkness. I don’t know about you but when I head to the pictures of a Wednesday evening there are three things I want to see: Jews, Polish sewers and reluctant, flawed heroes learning about the value of human life despite their selfishness, and In Darkness promises all three in abundance. I’ll tell you what I don’t want to see and that’s the words “Directed by Cameron Crowe” in a title sequence. Sorry Cam’, but¬†Elizabethtown is still just that bit too fresh in the mind for me to sit through We Bought A Zoo.

Orange Choice: In Darkness
Ultimate Lemon: We Bought A Zoo


Rob (cowering, wishing for the strong Polish winds):

This week has seen a number of fairly respectable releases, among them the Oscar-nominated In Darkness, and two highly respectable documentaries in Bill Cunningham New York and Four Horsemen. Yet despite all this respectability on show, my Orange award goes to 21 Jump Street; a comedy about two small-time cops who get an undercover assignment at a local high school. The film seems to have surprised the world by not only being the best fratty comedy of recent years, but also evidence that Channing Tatum can act (or so I hear). The lemon goes to We Bought A Zoo. It just looks too fucking feel-good, and I’m apprehensive about any films that over-use animals for cheap comedic gags.

Orange Choice: 21 Jump Street
Ultimate Lemon: We Bought A Zoo


Papa Neish (basically alight):

While there is undoubtedly a part of me that wants to reward 21 Jump Street with a big, ripe orange (finally, a Jonah Hill comedy which has actual jokes in it), I feel I have to stand up for the criminally underrated We Bought A Zoo. Quickly dismissed on account of its smug title and saccharine story, cinemagoers are once again unfairly treating harmless sentiment as if it were Michael Bay trying cynically to rape another element of their beloved childhood. Occasionally, in between the car chases, pithy back-and-forth and finding of incompetently filmed footage, people feel emotions, so why can’t we watch films about that, too? Only with animals. If you’re going to hate on something, why not make it The Raven, a film with so little appeal that I’m genuinely surprised it’s still showing in cinemas.

Orange Choice: We Bought A Zoo
Ultimate Lemon: The Raven


DVB (singing songs of the rainforest):

One of my favorite things ever is when someone who usually puts me off seeing a film altogether suddenly pulls a great performance out of seemingly nowhere. Examples include Mariah Carey in Precious, Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich and now Channing Tatum in 21 Jump Street. Who’da thought that a man normally not so much cast as installed might turn out to have note-perfect comedy chops? Now, you all have to explain something to me. Paranormal Activity was a low budget found footage screamer that ended up with a higher GDP than Asia, thanks to universal critical acclaim and phenomenal word-of-mouth. The Devil Inside is sitting pretty at number one, having taken over NINETY TIMES ITS ORIGINAL BUDGET, and also has a Metacritic score of 18: that mean’s it’s less than one star good. So, ‘fess up. Who are you listening to? Who’s giving out the orders? A BAD FILM THAT COST ONE MILLION DOLLARS DOES NOT GET TO CONQUER THE WORLD IF IT’S A WORLD WHERE NICE THINGS HAPPEN.

Orange Choice: 21 Jump Street
Ultimate Lemon: The Devil Inside


So, will it be 21 Jump Street, or We Bought A Zoo? Going to throw caution to the lack of winds and go all Devil Inside? Talk to us, so we can shout at you…

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