Arnold, you selfish bastard! As if it wasn’t bad enough that you’d destroyed your twenty-five year marriage by having a child with your housekeeper, you’re now adding insult to injury by indefinitely suspending all your brand new Hollywood commitments. That’s Cry Macho, the Terminator franchise, and most importantly of all The Governator, which was likely to redefine Western culture as we knew it.

The full statement from Arnie’s lawyers reads thusly:

“At the request of Arnold Schwarzenegger, we asked Creative Artists Agency to inform all his motion picture projects currently underway or being negotiated to stop planning until further notice. Governor Schwarzenegger is focusing on personal matters and is not willing to commit to any production schedules or timelines. This includes Cry Macho, The Terminator franchise and other projects under consideration. We will resume discussions when Governor Schwarzenegger decides.”

Unless Governor is an ex officio title, we’re fairly sure Schwarzenegger shouldn’t still be rocking it nearly five months after he left office. We’ve also noticed that the ex-Governator’s two eldest children have both changed their names on Twitter – Patrick and Katherine both went from using ‘Schwarzenegger’ to their mother’s maiden name ‘Shriver’, although Katherine has since changed hers to match her username. We hope that roll in the hay was worth all this, Arnie…