Ahoy! We recently reported that the Jacked Man was considering a rare villain role in Neverland prequel Pan, and today brings the news that the X-Men star has officially signed on to play the nefarious Blackbeard in Joe Wright’s Peter Pan origin story. By taking on the role of Edward Teach, terror of the Spanish Main or wherever, Jackman joins a roster of actors including Peter Ustinov, James Purefoy, Ian McShane and, errm, Vic Reeves.

We’re particularly fond of Ustinov’s performance – he appeared opposite Disney live-action favourite Dean Jones in Blackbeard’s Ghost, in which the mighty pirate is trapped in limbo and finds himself helping an inept sports coach raise the morale of his track team. Seriously.

Anyway, back to the news. In Pan, the young (is he ever anything else?) Peter will be a member of Blackbeard’s crew alongside the man who will become Captain Hook, who they’ll presumably call Jimmy or something. OBVIOUSLY they’ll be involved in trying to take Blackbeard down, and then when they succeed Jimmy will want to take over as world’s scariest pirate and Peter won’t and they’ll have a big old barney and then Peter will fly off to his weird little pre-pubescent pleasure island whilst the newly de-handed Captain Hook ages, smokes and contemplates asking Smee to give him one off the wrist (he just can’t get the rhythm going with his left hand). Incidentally, Hook is being played by Garrett Hedlund – that was announced on Friday, but we simply didn’t care enough without a bit of Jackman news to sugar the pill. Oh, Joe Wright, can’t you just do another dull period drama with Keira Knightley?

Are you feeling this? We’re not feeling this.