If we can’t stop it happening, at least the dialogue’s in good hands. Deadline is reporting that Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver, the writers of Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its 2014 sequel Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, have been hired to script Jurassic Park IV.

Steven Spielberg, who directed the first two films, will be back to produce alongside Kathleen Kennedy – having the two most successful producers of all time can’t be bad, can it? Unfortunately, none of this will stop Jurassic Park IV being shit (as our handy graph illustrates).

Given that the best character in RotPotA – Andy Serkis’ Caesar – only had about four words in the whole film, we’re hoping for a sympathetic velociraptor who tries to integrate himself into New York society. Anything but more running around on islands in the rain, basically.

Will you be watching Jurassic Park IV? Obviously you won’t.