We won’t pretend to understand the phenomenal success of The Smurfs, particularly since (in the words of BFF head honcho Tash) “Hank Azaria was quite good but all the Smurfs were shit.” As far as we can see, enjoying a film in which all the title characters are rubbish is on a par with loving The Mummy for John Hannah’s whimsical performance as Jonathan, although you actually really hate mummies and Egypt and all that jazz. Mystifying.

Anyway, despite the fact that The Smurfs 2 isn’t even due out until next summer, Over the Hedge writers Karey Kirkpatrick and Chris Poche have been tasked with producing a script for the long-distant threequel. There is, unsurprisingly, no word on whether or not series director Raja Gosnell will be sticking around for The Smurfs 3, although Kirkpatrick frequently directs his own films so there’s a reasonable chance he’ll be asked to take on double duties. Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria and so on are all unconfirmed too and OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Why are we publishing a story about the sequel to a sequel which won’t even exist for another year and a bit? It’s official, Hollywood has crawled up its own arse and died. Speaking of which…

“Middle America, can I lick yo’ bulging wallet and propensity to prop up shit ‘family’ films?” “Yeah, lick my ass, bitch.”