It’s been a hell of a week for cinema, hasn’t it? Hasn’t it? What do you mean, you don’t know? Are you telling us that you haven’t been glued to the Best For Film Twitter account all week, breathlessly drinking in every word of Hollywood news as we churned it out? You little bitch. Get in here and catch up or we’ll spank you.
Another week rolls to a close, and yet again you haven’t kept up on the constant flood of cinematic nonsense which issues from the mouths of actors, publicists and (most importantly) us. Thank god for our conveniently bite-sized News Round-Up, eh? If only all revision was this much fun.
To celebrate the release of groundbreaking nonsense Battleship, we’ve sailed the high seas of cinema in search of the silver screen’s best ever boats. Which is your favourite? The Pequod? La Amistad? The Potemkin? Yeah, none of them are in it.
It’s a Wednesday, and the aliens are here! It’s alright though, because they appear to be sea-dwelling aliens and there aren’t any cinemas at sea – your 2-4-1 deal is safe as houses, so crack on and enjoy (relatively) cheap film tickets before the world is incinerated! Hang on, what do you mean you don’t know what to watch?
Oh sure, everybody knows that James Cameron loves going crazy with his special effects. And, sure, everyone knows that he had something to do with Titanic… but what ELSE do you know about tempestuous Captain Jim, eh? Exactly. Prepare for an iceberg of knowledge to sink (and destroy) your preconceptions on one of the most influential men in Hollywood…
Ahhhh Sunday. The day where pure, unadulterated Watching is, legally, the only thing any self-respecting human can do. Hang up those thoughts of productivity – they can wait till Monday. Settle down into your pants, get trailer happy, and figure out what you’ll be watching this week…
Brand-new indie rom-com Like Crazy has hit cinemas, bringing with it a wealth of brutal honesty and bitter views on love. Hurray! How will we cope with all of this unsugared reality? By drinking, that’s how! Grab yourselves a suitable alcoholic bevvy, a stack of DVDs and a handful of cynical friends… things are about to get messy.
Snipe London
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