There hasn’t been a really, really good film about Jesus for ages, has there? Actually, there hasn’t ever been one – they’re either unpleasantly graphic (The Passion of the Christ) or cringeworthily obsequious (everything else). We can’t be doing with this dearth of watchable Jesus biopics, so we’ve suggested a few leading men (and ladies) who might be up to the job…

After a festive season like no other… We have a Write Christmas winner.

If you liked Crank 1 and 2, and you like Christmas, you’re sure to like Crank 3 – Festive Spirit. “Chelios is Santa. Be good.”

A depiction of Indonesia’s struggle for independence in the 1940s, which will be of great interest if you’re into that kind of thing. For those of us that are a little hazy on post- WW2 colonial conflicts, this is still a film not without its charms; cheesy and creaky in some places but worth a look for those interested in world cinema.

Someone needs to stop Sly Stallone before he wastes any more celluloid. An overblown, overacted mess, watching The Expendables is like liquidising all your Rambo DVDs, pouring the resulting testosterone-laden gloop into a shotgun with a generous slug of protein shake, and shooting yourself in the face.

Sylvester Stallone’s ridiculous film The Expendables has managed a second week at the top of the US box office charts.

“We are the shadow, the smoke in your eyes, the ghosts that hide in the night…”. If anyone can think of a more ridiculous line to describe Sly Stallone and his motley crew of roided-up ex-wrestlers and 80s action heroes in 2010 action movie The Expendables, we’d like to hear it.

Films set in UK inner cities, addressing teenage gang violence, have grown in number over the past 5 years. The surge of these films surrounding youths involved in drugs, guns, knives and everything in between is rising. The actual purpose of films like these remains unclear, are they there to shock us? Are they made to try and deter young people from choosing certain paths in life? Or are they there to simply emulate society and highlight what’s going on?

It’s the sexiest OW&L in history, which makes it just 14% less sexy than everything else on the internet. Let’s celebrate by going into a dark room, getting nice and close and WATCHING AVENGERS ASSEMBLE ALL OVER AGAIN! Or whatever. Your call, hot stuff.