Normally the we’d mock, but we’re genuinely fans of his work.

Why must you hurt us so, Bill?

Take a deep breath and prepare yourself for an exhaustive year of EPIC action films. 2012 is the official year of explosive sequels, daring superheroes and hardcore fairy tales. Just make sure you have an oxygen tank nearby.

The infamous Chelsea Hotel may be closing its doors forever. To make us feel better about the whole thing, we’ve compiled a list of hotels we’d hate to stay in. Movie hotels, obviously. Because this is a film website, or something.

Ah, Lady Gaga. God, I love her. It doesn’t matter where I go or whom I write for, she somehow manages to do something mad and become the ultimate hot topic for EVERYBODY. After showcasing her male alter ego, Joe Calderone, at the VMAs, it got us thinking about the topic of gender and we came to the conclusion that people’s response should be something along the lines of “gender, shmender!”. Possibly in a more eloquent fashion. To celebrate this, we’ve decided to look at our 10 favourite cross-dressing movies (basically proving that I’ll take any excuse to ogle Tim Curry in fishnets…)

Who you gonna call? The Crippled Franchise Humane Termination Squad!

You watch a film where it goes from beginning to end, with no flashbacks at all, and you call yourself a hardened movie fan? Shame on you! It’s all about jumping through the plot, a little like dropping a needle at random on an old vinyl to see what plays next. It’s sudden, it’s fractured, it’s completely confusing… it’s sometimes a bit gimmicky. But, oh my, how we love a clock that tock ticks rather than tick tocks!

Is this an Oscar bid I smell?

As a rule, sellout films usually contain a colon and/or a number. We’re looking at you, Speed 2: Cruise Control. Yet, the definition of a ‘sellout’ is tricky, because producers are very good at making shit smell like roses, and before you know it you’re on the set of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. When you see a film and think, ‘what the devil is Globey McOscar doing in this?!’ we’ve got the three reasons behind their decision to sell their soul.

…According to director Ivan Reitman, anyway.