It’s lunchtime, and I’m eating a rather disappointing BLT with a lukewarm can of G&T on one of SouthWest Trains’ longer and more bumpy routes through deepest darkest Hampshire while the sun beams down outside. Frankly, this article title was designed to incite jealousy and – although Hollywood is overflowing with unforgettable onscreen dishes – many of the meals on this list are horrendous, if only to help my mental wellbeing. Bon appétit!

Notorious for scandalising even the French, Baise-Moi fought extremely hard against the label of ‘pornography’ given to it by the certification board. Boasting “prolonged sex scenes of an extremely explicit nature and scenes of graphic violence” and continued bans in many countries, this low-budget sexploitation is known more for its reputation rather than its content. All controversy aside, Baise-Moi is an midly enjoyable, if uneven, feminist punk fantasy.

Boo. Also, HAMMER!

With over a staggering 50 movies tucked under that beautiful scarlet barnet, Julianne Moore is one of the most talented, varied, and genuinely lovely actresses in the world. But what on earth do we really know about her? Exactly, you selfish hounds. So, to celebrate the release of the genuinely lovely Crazy Stupid Love, we present our guide to Miss Moore…

The release of The Skin I Live In got our minds wandering on the topic of plastic surgery. It wandered to places it probably shouldn’t have.

The release of 13 Assassins has brought with it the most petrifying and believable villain that has graced our cinema screens in a long time. Now that we have returned to creating characters that will keep you awake at night it is time to lament the passing of some of the most reprehensible humans ever brought to life.

Mmmm…Who can resist those rubberised lips.

Last week we expressed our cautious trepidation about the new A-Team film starring – amongst others – Liam Neeson as Hannibal and District 9‘s Sharlto Copley as “Howlin’ Mad” Murdoch.