KITTENS! BLOODY KITTENS! TWO OF THEM! PLAYING WITH AN AMULET! OH GOSH LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE, THEY’RE LITERALLY PAWING AT THE AMULET WITH UNBRIDLED GLEE! WHAT IS THE AMULET? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. KITTENS. KITTENS. KITTENS!!! Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu The Vampyre starts in less than fearsome circumstances, as my opening gambit of madcap…

Nothing says ‘cinema icon’ like playing a celebrity rapist.

Gérard Depardieu excels as a hulking giant of a man in the weirdly hypnotic French melodrama Mammuth. It’s an ultra surreal tale of man, machine and the journey that lies beyond retirement.