Can you believe that there’s only 6 days until Christmas!? Let us commiserate at the implacable march of time by considering our top 8 maids a-milking. There’s a lot of fertile subject matter here, but it’s become a little tribute to some of the most important themes of Christmas – family, togetherness, the sacrifices of a loving mother, baby Jesus and… um… Joe Pesci? Whatever. Milky maids. Let’s do it.

The release of 13 Assassins has brought with it the most petrifying and believable villain that has graced our cinema screens in a long time. Now that we have returned to creating characters that will keep you awake at night it is time to lament the passing of some of the most reprehensible humans ever brought to life.

Woody Allen opened this year’s Cannes Film Festival with a tale of nostalgic wish fulfillment that sees Owen Wilson’s struggling writer transported to 1920s Paris in order to ‘find himself’. With Gertrude Stein, Pablo Picasso and rhinoceros enthusiast Salvador Dali along for the ride, Midnight in Paris is a charmingly unhurried fable which reminds you to be careful what you wish for.

Someone once said ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. Well the old rom-com formula isn’t really broke, but this film tried to fix it anyway, by inserting a huge lump of cancer into the plot. Romance, laughs, dates and cancer- oh dear, who honestly thought this formula was ever going to work?

As a rule, sellout films usually contain a colon and/or a number. We’re looking at you, Speed 2: Cruise Control. Yet, the definition of a ‘sellout’ is tricky, because producers are very good at making shit smell like roses, and before you know it you’re on the set of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. When you see a film and think, ‘what the devil is Globey McOscar doing in this?!’ we’ve got the three reasons behind their decision to sell their soul.

Now we here at bestforfilm are all a bit partial to a bit of Adam Sandler (some more begrudgingly than others). Yes, he finds himself perpetually playing the same zero-to-hero role, but if it the down-on-his-luck-loser-inevitably-finds-success-and-the-girl formula ain’t broke then why fix it? (And truth be told, the less said about Señor Sandler trying to break out of his mould, cough Punch Drunk Love, the better.)

It’s always nice to stay ahead of the curve, if only so you can feel unneccessarily smug in front of friends and loved ones. With this in mind Best For Film brings you what you need to know about next week’s film releases. Have a read, plan your week accordingly, and practice that lovely self-satified smile we all love you for…