No one would ever have heard of The Signal if it weren’t for Morpheus. Nice work!

French film monthly Premiere has announced that Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom will be opening Cannes Film Festival 2012. To save you from having to find a French newsagent/actually read any French, here are the predicted titles that have us wishing that we could spend a week on Brangelina’s fuck-off-huge yacht…

Heading out on the town tonight and looking to make some new, ahem, “acquaintances”? Not quite as adept with the lingo of love as you’d like to be? Been shot down more times than Boromir in The Lord Of The Rings? Now is not the time to panic, as we’ve done all the hard work for you. After scouring the film database, we’ve pulled out the top 10 chat-up lines that can be applied to any romantic situation, ever ever. So read them. Learn them. Dazzle the opposite sex with them and, when you get laid, send us a box of chocolates. We like chocolates…

Valentine’s Day eh? There’s no getting away from the hatred of it. Either you’re not in a relationship and you’re sick of being reminded of the fact, or you are and you’re sick of being reminded that you’re not the lover you should be. It’s lose/lose. And no number of happy cuddly bears are going to change that. Nothing demonstrates this collective bitterness better than the natural reaction to Valentine’s Day – Garry Marshall’s sugar-coated tale of romance and heartbreak.