It’s always a risk when film-makers decide to try and attach heavily religious messages to blockbusters, and it doesn’t get more heavy-handed than in The Book Of Eli. Sadly, this post-apocalyptic story of one man’s quest to bring Jesus-based enlightenment to a wretched humanity comes off as what it is; a sermon with added guns.

Having conquered the small screen, it seems that Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane has turned his attention to the big screen with his upcoming debut movie, Ted. Described as a “Hard R” comedy about a man and his teddy bear (yes ladies and gentlemen, you read that right), Ted is rumoured to be a live-action meets CGI movie in the vein of Alvin and the Chipmunks (except miles, miles better of course).

Casting your eye around for a new release to watch next week? Bored of the old stuff, and looking for something spanking fresh? We’ve got all the info you need right here. All the films released as of today (26th March) are listed below, so if you see something you fancy, there’s no need to dely your cinema trip. Enjoy!

You know what we enjoy doing? Going to the future. We also enjoy going back to the future, but we gotten into copyright problems with that before. The point is, we’ve risked life and limb to discover what films are hitting our screens in upcoming weeks. Don’t ask us how we’ve done it. All we’ll say is that the Wikipedia Towers of the future are a terrifying and overly bear-guarded place. So, should you save our pennies for an upcoming epic, or splurge like there’s no tomorrow on the flicks out now? We’ve got the answers right here.

The LA Times’ 24 Frames blog has reported that Laurie is in serious discussions to play the lead in a small indie-film entitled Oranges, in which an older man (Laurie) has an affair with the daughter of a family friend. Mila Kunis is apparently set to play the foxy youngster, and Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester also fits in somewhere, though it’s too early to know where all the pieces fit. But of what we’ve heard so far, this is looking to be a pretty exciting jigsaw (and we wouldn’t say that lightly).

It’s always a risk when film-makers decide to try and attach heavily religious messages to blockbusters, and it doesn’t get more heavy-handed than in The Book Of Eli. Overall, though Eli is willing to trek across the world to save a story, we’re not sure we’d do this same with this one. It’s The Road with a book instead of a kid, and frankly, that’s not enough of a reason to spend your money.

It seems today that all you see is perpetual repeats of this on BBC Three. Lucky there’s a new DVD box set out then, eh?