James Cameron? Andrew Adamson? The circus? 3D that people will both love and complain about in equal measure?

Lost creator and Star Trek re-vitalizer J.J Abrams has announced that he’ll be taking on a new film project with Lost director Jack Bender. Another monster hit? Not this time. The pair plan to produce a teen thriller entitled 7 Minutes In Heaven. What?

As people whose childhoods were made up entirely of watching cartoons in darkened rooms, we’re always happy to know that our tender years was not utterly, utterly wasted. Disney has decided to adapt their glorious 90s cartoon series Gargolyes into a feature-film, and frankly, we’ve never felt more knowledgable (who’s life is pointless now, mum?)

No, really. Paramount have managed to secure the rights to funny-man Cohen’s new project by giving him two goats; one delivered to his LA home, and one to his Beverly Hills offices.