Piranha 3D was the surprise hit of 2010, blending knowing references to its glorious B-movie heritage with a truly unfeasible supply of boobs, blood, boobs, fish, boobs, Christopher Lloyd and boobs. Can its long-awaited sequel work the same schlocky magic? …No, no it can’t. Piranha 3DD is exactly as bad as we expected its predecessor to be.

Four Avatar films. Can you even imagine how much sanctimoniousness that’s going to need?

No more big-screen boobs *sigh* thanks a lot, 2012…

Escape real-life horror this 2011 with the lovely dark thrill of the cinema. We’ve got a grab-bag of the top (nearly) 30 best horror films in 2011, from franchise blockbuster to indie foreign horror. Actually, 28. We had 30 but the last two were rubbish.

His films have grossed more than $1.5 billion. He’s just won a Golden Globe and will probably go on to win an Oscar next month. His beard is unbearably, inexplicably sexy. You should definitely know more than you do about David Fincher, and we’re here to help…