She’s 13. What have you achieved today?

What does that pesky Super 8 camera see that we do not?

If you were one of those people that thought Lost In Translation was just too chock-full of jokes, Somewhere is for you. Fans of Sofia Coppola will probably be won over by this gentle tale of a film star and his slow burning existential crisis, but for the rest of us, its just more of the same self-satisfied, time-munching film-glaze. A few nice moments create the skeleton of a good film, but sadly it’s just never fleshed out enough for us to get a grip on it.

Naughty director Quentin Tarantino has been giving an awful lot of prizes to his mates at this year’s Venice Film Festival…