Our souls feel like that frog thing that Jar Jar Binks accidentally fires at Sebulba.

George Lucas’ mammoth rerelease of all six Star Wars films in 3D has finally begun with the most profitable of them all, 1999’s The Phantom Menace. Are you thinking about going to see it, just for old times’ sake? DON’T. There’s no need for you to ruin your comfortably rose-tinted memories of Lucas’ increasingly childish ‘space operas’, and he’ll only use the money to increase the diameter of his neck some more…

Martin Lucas King?

BORING

The Star Wars franchise is an interesting one. It usually always finds itself divided into its Original and Prequel series, such is the divergence of opinion as to their relative worth. But which is better? Are Episodes I, II and III a far more slick and thoughtful offering, or are Episodes IV, V and VI unsurpassed in their grandeur? Let the Friday Face/Off commence.

In 2012 the Star Wars saga will return to our screens – this time in eye-assaulting 3D! Three dimensional Jar Jar? Meesa no likey!