New posters for The Phantom Menace 3D
Thirteen years after it blazed into my life to provide me with a new all-time favourite thing (lightsabers, which stayed in the top spot until I discovered breasts in 2005), Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is heading back to cinemas to hammer home the fact that it was actually really shit and I only enjoyed it because I was a pathetic friendless whelp. And just for funsies, it’s now in 3D.
This is definitely going to be good for everyone, George Lucas, isn’t it? The kids who liked it when it came out are now grown up and don’t care, the adults who dismissed it at the time will be even more disdainful now, and the horrible greasy perma-wanking fanboys who dreamt of fisting Jar-Jar are still living with their mothers and wondering what non-inflatable women smell like.
Anyway, there are some new posters. Click them if you want, they get bigger and that:
Well done, George. You’ve grasped the fact that the only thing that’s better about the new trilogy than the originals is the fighting, so all the posters are now lightsaber-based.