While legions of Britons celebrated the monarchical nuptials via half-price champers ‘n cucumber-sandwiched exercises in vicariousness, April 29th saw a dissenting faction hanging with the real royalty – in an evening enchanted by torture-porn vignettes, the virtues of Driller Killer(s) and a good ol’ 70s creepshow…

A trio of doctors take a detour… only to find themselves kidnapped and caged by masked men for unknown purposes. A paucity of gore is balanced by an unnervingly effective excess of tension in this high quality French torture porn horror…

This update on the original ‘video nasty’ ups the ante not only on its predecessor, but on the entire torture porn genre. Low on chills and high on squirm-inducing “thrills”, it trades on the original’s notoriety while outstripping it on production values, acting and gore. If you go down to the woods today you may not be in for a big surprise… but take some nausea tablets just in case.

Prepare for some Daily Mail based outrage over our children’s young and impressionable minds.

Director Kim Sung-Hong treads an oft-travelled path with this vicious tale “inspired” by true events. That claim could well be disputed but Missing does boast a genuinely creepy central performance by Moon Sung-Keun as a farmer with an eye for the ladies and an original idea on what constitutes quality chicken feed. No wonder their eggs taste so good!

The Saw films have turned wanton cruelty into an annual event, with a seventh instalment in the series due this Halloween. Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, screenwriters of Saw IV, V and VI, evidently aren’t satisfied with the carnage they have already wrought, so they have co-written this equally grisly tale about a robbery that turns unexpectedly nasty.