Navigate office life that much smoother with our guide to The Princess Bride’s best pithy put downs and responses; just make sure you don’t accuse your boss of being the six-fingered man who slaughtered your father unless you’re ABSOLUTELY sure it’s true.

So you’re a character in a film. Congratulations! And you’re about to meet your onscreen death. Ah, not so great. Still, you’ve got time to say a single line. A line that has the chance to be immortalised in cinema history. A line that will be quoted time and time again by pop culture nerds in bad accents. What do you say? Well, let’s look at some of the all-time greats for a bit of inspiration.
(SPOILERS SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS)

In just a few days time, it may be necessary to remove this blog out of respect for the dead. For now, enjoy some of Charlie Sheen’s choicest quotations. The man is a VATICAN ASSASSIN! Keep winning!

Romantic films are the scourge of all that is good and true. But imagine if you could appropriate the romantic, cinematic charisma of XXX or the wit of YYY for your VERY OWN. Osmose our romantic quotes from films into your heart and out of your cheatin’ mouth come Valentine’s Day, and you’re made in the shade. You don’t even have to subject yourself to a rom-com to do it…

Gossip columnists and film writers alike are rejoicing in the endless snarky articles to be wrung out of what seems to be Shia LaBeouf’s prolonged and very public breakdown. But – regardless of whether or not he really is ill – what does this say about our attitude to mental health in the public eye? There aren’t many jokes in this one.

The Hollywood press is all aflutter with the news that an obscure indie film’s Oscar nomination has been stripped following allegations of undue influence. We’d really rather it was aflutter with the news that anyone even CONSIDERED nominating a film as repellent as Alone Yet Not Alone for an Oscar.

After a wobbly start and a second episode so distressing we didn’t even write a blog about it, Sherlock finally gave the fans (apart from those it’s-all-about-the-brolance twerps on Tumblr) what they wanted with last night’s barnstorming episode. We trot across the big/small screen divide to look at some other third instalments that have restored faith in their respective franchises.

SO LONG TO WAIT

We (royal) are, for some reason, SO willing to see Michael Bay redeemed. I was so convinced of Transformers’ potential greatness that I didn’t realise it sucked until about an hour after I’d seen its SEQUEL. And then I saw the big snake robot eat a building and thought “F*CK, Transformers 3 might actually be…

It’s the very last week of Back in Vue, Vue’s retrospective season – and the film that you apparently voted for as a fitting swansong is showing for the last time tonight. Blazing a trail for lesser mortals to follow, Duncan has already headed all the way back to 1986 to revisit a world of gleaming Ferraris, multicoloured leather jackets and pancreas to find out exactly what happened on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.