StreetDance 2 3D
The trick with StreetDance 2 is to go in expecting absolutely nothing from the script or the acting; this film is all about those smokin’ hot moves! From every twist, to every turn, to every tapping foot, you’ll find that, despite everything you thought you knew about yourself, your eyes will remain glued to the screen.
Whoever knew that street-latin dance fusions could be so captivating?
The story is, of course, pretty basic. Ash (Hentschel) is an American streetdancer, left humiliated in a dance-off against swift-footed foes, the Invincibles. Well, duh! The clue’s in the name, Ash. He soon gets his spirits plumped up by Eddie (Sampson) and the pair decide to head off around Europe in search of THE BEST DANCE CREW EVER!
But don’t worry, we don’t spend very much time on that tiny detail at all. The crew are located in under a two minute montage; we don’t know how or why they were persuaded to join two relative unknowns in taking on THE biggest dance competition ever, but they’re up for it. They’re so up for it it’s positively unreal.
But something’s still missing…
Oh yeah! We needed a romance element, didn’t we? Eva (Boutella) is a fantastic Latin dancer with a rockin’ hot bod, so Ash immediately drafts her into his team. She initially comes as part of a two but, strangely, her surly male companion disappears without any explanation after the first dance-off.
The new emphasis on Latin dance means that the choreography in this dance flick is crotch-warmingly seductive… just in case this point wasn’t clear, there’s a lot of talk about the PASSION of the dance and BECOMING ONE with your partner and a half-hearted ploy at suggesting the Tango isn’t about SEX.
The script, plot and acting are all hideously clichéd, but what were you expecting from a 3D dance film? The romance is two-dimensional, an elderly relative is revived after his heart-attack through the sheer POWER of the rhythm and spontaneous pillow fights / sex scenes quickly escalate into full-on dance-offs.
And there are MULTIPLE montages; in most cases, this would be a cause for despair but, in StreetDance 2, a multiple montage has the same amped-up appeal as a multiple orgasm. It’s all you care about, in the long run. When a script is written around the sweltering dance sequences, why not cram as many in as possible?
At least then we don’t have to watch the dance crew get to know each other over a pizza or anything…
The genius of these films is their edgy appeal; the burgeoning street dance craze isn’t one that’s going away any time soon and, it has to be said, there’s definitely vast amounts of joy to be achieved just from watching. Dance competitions, as a whole, still don’t make a lot of sense; the rules are never explained. HOW DOES ONE GET SERVED? It doesn’t matter, guys. Rules are for loser ballerinas, anyway. Street dancers need no such thing as guidelines and stipulations.
The cinematography is also, on the whole, pretty damn gorgeous; the gritty urban culture takes place in the glossy city of Paris, allowing our protagonists to journey from underground club to salsa bar to the Eiffel Tower, whenever the mood takes them…
So what if the film isn’t for movie buffs? So what if you can predict every single twist and turn? And so what if the characters are even more wooden than Taylor Lautner’s empty wardrobe (he just never needs clothes)? Sometimes, just sometimes, a little bit of ultra-fluffy entertainment is just what the doctor ordered.
And that’s why StreetDance 2, fun and sexy as it is, is absolutely the only 3D dance flick worth seeing this month. Hotfoot your way to a cinema, stat!