If* we ever build a time machine, Adam, we’re going back to 1966 to kick your mum in the stomach. *When

Hollywood’s busiest and worst actor is at it again, with two films out this week alone (he filmed them both at the weekend). But does the wreckage of a once great actor lurk somewhere within Cage’s permatanned skull, forever besieged with gruesome memories of Season of the Witch and National Treasure: Book of Secrets? You’ll have to read on to find out… [SPOILER: probably not]

We couldn’t think of anyone better for a psycho thriller…

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…

Bestforfilm exclusive! The correspondence Cage’s (new) people did not want you to see!

And where was Season of the Witch? Nowhere you’d like to take your mum, certainly.

After years of lazy, pointless roles, Nicolas Cage abruptly seemed to be dragging himself back towards the light with his acclaimed performances in Bad Lieutenant and Kick-Ass. Where did it all go wrong? If Ron Perlman had any sense, he would have attacked his co-star instead of the titular baddie in this overwrought nonsense of steel, pestilence, demons and artfully tangled hair.

As the stage is set for another bloody awful year of Nicolas Cage releasing eight thousand crappy films, we thought we’d take you on a whistle-stop tour back through his entire demented oeuvre since the Millennium. Not suitable for readers who are sensitive to unpleasant hairstyles.

It’s Wednesday! Films exist! We’re all poor! You know someone on Orange? You know someone on Orange! We take some time out of our busy schedules (looking at Wyld Stallyns t-shirts on PriceDrop TV) to discuss what you should and shouldn’t see on this, this Wednesday, this holy night. Please do join in.