Ninja Assassin is an abysmal car crash of a movie, not even redeemed by its semi-slick and overly-repetitious fight scenes. Jeong Ji-hoon, AKA Rain, gurns and grunts his way through this daft revenge fantasy as Raizo, a trained-from-childhood ninja who becomes disillusioned with his taskmasters’ shady dealings and harsh discipline. The Wachowski brothers once more prove themselves as a laughing stock, a one-trick-pony whose sell by date expired at the precise moment the first Matrix film ended. With any luck, this dreck will be the last we see of ’em, and good riddance.

Catholic schools. Priests. Sexual abuse allegations. Does this equal a film we’d want to see? Probably not. At best, it would be dull, at worst quite disturbing. Nevertheless, given the Oscar hype surrounding this adaptation of John Patrick Shanley’s play last year, we decided it couldn’t be that bad. In fact, this 1960’s-set drama centring around a nun’s mission to prove a progressive priest guilty of sexual abuse of a student turned out to be quite a unique and thought-provoking film experience.

Gran Torino is vintage Clint Eastwood at his best. From Dirty Harry to Million Dollar Baby, he’s made his signature character into an art form, a hypnotising, hardened beast of a human that you can’t take your eyes off, and yet one that’s never without redeeming qualities either. In this self-directed tale of a bigoted retiree coming to terms with his Asian neighbours in middle America, Eastwood gives us enough bad-ass attitude, along with poignant drama to stand Gran Torino alongside his earlier Oscar-winning efforts.

The British talent for satire is brilliantly displayed in In the Loop. This film spin-off from the BBC series The Thick of It chronicles the life and times of several US and UK government figureheads in the days before the invasion of Iraq. The cracking script and brilliant cast keep the laughs coming hard and fast, while director Armando Iannucci’s hand-held camera techniques create an almost uncomfortably close-to-the-bone sense of realism. If you missed this film at the cinema, it’s well worth grabbing on DVD for the best laughs you’ve had in ages and one-liners you’ll be repeating for weeks.

Denzel Washington crashes onto DVD with the remake of the 1974 Taking of Pelham 123, also starring John Travolta in another of his couldn’t-care-less villain roles. What happened, John? You used to be cool, and you ain’t gonna get another gig like Pulp Fiction anytime soon. Sort it out. And lose some weight.

It’s always a risk when film-makers decide to try and attach heavily religious messages to blockbusters, and it doesn’t get more heavy-handed than in The Book Of Eli. Overall, though Eli is willing to trek across the world to save a story, we’re not sure we’d do this same with this one. It’s The Road with a book instead of a kid, and frankly, that’s not enough of a reason to spend your money.

After the stunner that was Spider-Man 2 (in our humble opinion one of the best superhero films ever made), Spidey 3 certainly had a weight of expectation against it. And unfortunately, it’s not really the send-off the franchise – not the mention the considerable talents of Maguire, Dunst, Raimi et al – deserved.

K. Selvaraghavan is Tamil cinema’s answer to James Cameron. His action-packed epic Aayirathil Oruvan (in English, ‘One Man in One Thousand’) generated a similar buzz to Avatar prior to release in its home country of India, and now after a record-breaking international rights deal, the film has landed in the UK. The over-the-top goings-on can be a bit exhausting, but visually, the film holds its own against any Hollywood adventure epic.

You know what you’re in for when you pick up Pineapple Express at the DVD store. It’s a typically zany outing featuring Seth Rogen in his usual sarcastic misfit role, but the boy does it well – this time he’s on the run with his pot dealer after the two accidentally witness a drug ring murder. Sounds serious, but don’t worry, it’s actually far from it – Rogen pushes the boundaries of the ridiculous to extreme degrees in his chuckleworthy screenplay.

King of the American historical epic Ron Howard returns to form with Frost/Nixon. Based on Peter Morgan’s Tony-award winning Broadway play, the film chronicles ex-US President Richard Nixon’s infamous admission of wrongdoing in David Frost’s interview series in 1977. Howard’s intimate dual narrative draws you expertly into the lives of both the interviewer and his subject, while Michael Sheen and Frank Langella inhabit their characters with studied perfection. Despite its somewhat dry subject matter, you’ll find yourself fascinated by this battle-of-wits tale by the time the credits come up.