If you thought that feathered mariachi bands, chameleons facing Hamlet-esque existential crises, and Pirates of the Caribbean were, in and of themselves, essentially ridiculous, farcical concepts, you’d be absolutely right. Now throw these entirely unrelated absurdities together to create one great, big, superlative mash-up of ridiculousness, and you get Rango.

And for some equally and befittingly bizarre reason, it works.

RP Kahl’s Bedways promises to explore themes of love, sex, bodies and cinema itself. Some might consider this a tall ask for a 76 minute porno. They’d be right.

Zonad: low-budget Irish comedy featuring a sex starved fat bloke who may or may not be an alien. But isn’t. Taken in by the residents of a small village Zonad quickly makes himself at home, lusting after a virginal teenage temptress and drinking in the local pub. But the true nature of his identity is about to catch up with him.

In all honesty, you might not even need to read this review; Stonehenge Apocalypse is exactly as you imagined it when you saw the SKULL IN A MUSHROOM CLOUD on its poster. Still, know thine enemy and all that…

Sharktopus, yet another mindless and tacky film from B movie re-enactors the SyFy channel, is completely dreadful. No, really. Completely dreadful. You might be one of the people who likes watching shit films and laughing at how shit they are, but even so the antics of this absurd hybrid may leave you struggling to crack a smile.

Hats off to the ambitious Ink team for creating a gloriously immersive fantasy world on a micro-budget: no mean feat for even the most skilled of film-makers. Definitely at the upper end of the indie-spectrum, there is much originality and innovation to admire this surreal tale of one man’s redemption. It’s just a shame the dialogue never quite reaches the same heights as the rest of the production values.

A touching tale about a man navigating his way through conflicting relationships, He’s My Girl is an unexpected, quietly charming and exceedingly Parisian love story. There are perhaps a few too many loose ends left hanging for it to be a truly satisfying watch, but there’s no question that this is an extremely classy alternative to your Nora Ephron-type fodder.

Now that Zac Efron and Hilary Duff are nearing retirement, America is clearly cowering at the prospect of an empty podium. Scouting a 14 year old Justin Bieber on YouTube, the US of A has a new poster child for hard work, family values and segways. Should you accidentally find yourself in the wrong screen, maybe avoid the overwhelming instinct to reach for your gag reflex and gouge out your brain as there are a number of nice visual touches and bop-tastic tunes that just keep this docu-concert on the right side of God-awful.

“A city in conflict” reads the tag line, but that doesn’t even begin to cover the violent nature of Jaffa’s Ajami neighbour hood. Ajami attempts to capture the lives of various families caught up in this lethal religious boiling pot.

If you’re looking for some kind of ‘bears shit in the woods’ joke, you’re going to have to go elsewhere. Yogi Bear is re-interpreted in this 3D CGI feature, a below-average kids film that is somewhat redeemed by its cute moral tale about the environment. Save the world, man.