If you’ve seen one monster shark movie, you’ve seen them all. Unless you’ve seen them all except Dinoshark. In which case, you haven’t seen Dinoshark.

It’s time to don the corpse paint and bullet belts, because Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse is back to wreak Deth and commercialised destruction upon the masses – and Season 3 promises to be just as totally freakin’ brutal as the first two instalments.

Is anyone else getting really sick of these actually quite good US comedies that have hit the big screen recently? Does anyone think it’s about time someone put Seth Rogan and Judd Apatow in their place(s)? Well you’ll be glad to hear that writer/director duo Brad Kaaya and Craig Moss are here and they’re going to stick it to those Superbad jerks with their funny comedy in the only way they know how: toothless parody and dick jokes.

Every second someone becomes a victim of a crime; a crime that can threaten irreversible damage and destroy lives. The suggested route of reparation is largely ineffective, but the alternative is infinitely more frightening. It is an easy feat, if not a moral compulsion, to judge the latter course of action, but it is perhaps the privilege of those who have never had to confront violence to disparage the power to resist.

An ex-con seeks revenge in a thriller that never really gets going. Although, that’s kind of the point…..

You’d never expect action comedy Norwegian Ninja to live up to the glorious premise of its supercheese title. And yet this absurdist masterpiece from the producers of Dead Snow really does. Full of Norwegians, ninja and so, so much more…

Tyler Perry adapts a famous stage play. Badly. But at least he’s not in it, dressed as a wise old granny. That was his last film.

Ever wondered what happened to 80s wrestling Superstar and spurious Scotsman ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper? No, neither did I, but a little research reveals that he has held down an acting career for some 20 years. Unfortunately it’s a career that peaked around 20 years ago with the lead role in John Carpenter’s They Live, and from there it was pretty much was all downhill. If you happen to look at the bottom of that hill you will find a twisted and broken wreck called Fists of Rage.

After a tragic event an artist dicovers a way to travel back in time and change the future, in a mystery/sci-fi/general bit of hokum that, despite starring Mads Mikkelsen, fails to convince.

In 1994 Wes Craven reclaimed the original slasher nightmare and helmed the final instalment in the franchised vision of terror – Nightmare on Elm Street. The outcome of Craven’s combined writing and directing efforts in this film – Wes Craven’s New Nightmare – was a vivid horrorscape of the unimaginable and an exercise in intelligent, disturbing inventiveness. 17 years later and My Soul To Take has summoned the cinematic corpse-monger back to the business of blood – but it’s a far cry from the slick-witted slice ‘n dicer – and this time the result may be more bed-time story than Nightmare…