Megan Fox – A Poor Man’s Angelina?

Plastic bags aren’t free anymore, petrol is more expensive than gold and global institutions like Starbucks have relaunched their takeaway cups, this time made of tracing paper. These are the first signs that we’re living in bad times. As our economy spirals into the abyss of recession with no hope of returning to good health any time soon, everyone is cutting their budget. Apparently when Madonna isn’t dressed in shiny leotards making videos that involve her dry humping boys a third of her age, you might see her stocking up on tins of obscure German food from her local Lidl. Apparently when the Jolie-Pitt’s aren’t buying kids from third world countries, you might bump into them in the park  entertaining their little entourage (who said having fun had to cost more than a Mr. Whippy?). Apparently even Bill Gates was spotted at the job centre the other day looking at Saturday positions. BAD Times.

In spite of this, the film industry seems to still be booming.  With new releases dropping faster than interest rates, the recession might actually prove to be a good thing for some actors.  There’s a small bunch of A-listers that are a director’s dream to work with. Whether it’s because of their acting skills, their sickening, jealousy inducing good looks or the fact that their name being associated with the film will triple the gross profit. All these things might be great, but actors such as Mr. Pitt, Mr. Depp and Mr. Clooney do not come cheap. Luckily however, there is a pool brimming with some of their contemporaries who might not quite make the A-list, but will do the same job at a cheaper price. It’s these actors which might just benefit from Filmmakers cutting their budget.

The easiest A-listers to replace are the generic, handsome and well groomed, fresh-faced, ripped actors like Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Will Smith. With an abundance of B and C-List versions of these types of actors, directors should be churning out rom-coms, adventure epics and films about historic events (like the fall of an empire, the sinking of a giant ship or a trek across a desert), at a massively reduced rate.  I’m sure Paul Walker would make a great con artist organising a way of stealing millions from a casino. We already know Matthew McConaughey has ample experience in playing the “funny” heart throb, but he’d probably also be great at saving the whole world from robots and aliens given the chance.  Ryan Reynolds  might just be great at  playing an undercover hit man trying to outsmart his attractive wife who in this instance may not be Angelina Jolie or Julia Roberts, but at a third of the price probably Anna Faris or Mena Suvari.

Speaking of girls, when casting a dark haired, fiery, feisty, seductive temptress who can rock leather better than a rocker, only Angelina will do right? Wrong! Believe it or not, Angelina Jolie is not the only sexy tomboyish brown-haired beauty that can get men more than hot under the collar. There’s a number B-list brunettes that could also have the desired effect. From a bargain Jessica Biel to Rachel ‘that-one-from-the-mummy-and-about-a-boy’ Weisz. The most obvious Angelina replacement would probably be Megan Fox. These two are being compared to each other more and more frequently these days. Whilst Fox is often hailed as the ‘younger Angelina’ and is definitely hot property at the moment, she still comes cheaper than the original tattooed bad girl.

Johnny Depp puts the A in A-List. There will never be another Johnny Depp. He will forever hold the crown of incredible actor, bad-boy-turned-family-man and heart throb all rolled into one. He probably tops every list he might appear on. Best looking actor of all time? Johnny Depp. Most versatile actor of all time? Johnny Depp. Best Pirate since Long John Silver? Johnny Depp.  Not many actors can easily go from playing a fresh faced love sick teenager in Cry Baby to a quirky character from a children’s story book in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Hiring Johnny Depp however is probably going to use up a vast amount of your entire budget.  To find a single actor that can fit into a variety of roles so seamlessly like Depp is a big ask but why not opt for Johnny’s Pirates of the Caribbean co-star Orlando Bloom? Although a lot less rough cut, and rebellious much like Depp, Bloom has a lovely chiseled face, floppy hair and would probably be alright in a trippy re-make of a kids book.

So there we have it. As we all resort to rations, it’s the perfect time for Hollywood directors to start economising too. Not on film quality, but on choice of protagonists. I’m sure we can look forward to seeing more B and even C-List actors gracing our screens but maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all. Who knows, it might even give actors that aren’t Mr. Depp the chance to play in a Tim Burton epic. Maybe. Just maybe.

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