Avengers Assemble HULK SMASHES all expectations

So, as we all know, everyone thinks The Avengers is amazing forever. Having caused a right old ruckus in the UK over the past couple of weeks the hype around its US opening has been rather feverish, with people running into rooms with print-outs shouting “SHE JUST CAN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE, CAPTAIN” and “DAMMIT JIM I’M A DOCTOR NOT A DISTRIBUTION EXPERT”. Disney were hoping that Avengers Assemble would take close to $200 million in its opening weekend in the US. Well, it didn’t. It took $207 million. In the words of a rather pissed off Bruce Banner: “AERRGGHHHHHHERRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

All of this means that Avengers Assemble can claim the biggest opening weekend in US movie history, taking the title from Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (which took a frankly laughable $169.2 million). So what are you gonna do with all your money, Joss? Is it a Hulk film? It’s a Hulk film, isn’t it? Isn’t it, Joss? There’s a good lad.

If you haven’t watched Avengers Assemble yet it’s probably because you’re dead. And that’s no excuse. Prop your corpse along to your nearest cineplex and then tell us what you think of it.

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