TERRIBLE NEWS ALERT. Kurt Russell, the single greatest replacement for Kevin Costner ever conceived by man has horrified Tarantino-mongers worldwide by announcing that he’s no longer a part of Django Unchained. But… BUT KURT, CAN’T WE – WE CAN WORK THIS OUT. Don’t leave your key, please, just put the kettle on and we can… we…

Anyway, having gotten a poster and a few stills from the film itself we rather foolishly assumed that shooting was in full swing, with Kurt on-board as Ace Woody – a ruthless henchman of Di Caprio’s ranch owning baddie. Well, that’s where cinematic complacency gets us. We’re being roundly punished for having literally nothing bad to say about this production by having lovely Kurt Russell and his collection of beards taken away from us. Sacha Baron Cohen has also dropped out, but to be honest we don’t really give a shit about that.

No reason has as yet been given for Russell’s abandonment of the role, though the interwebz is – unsurprisingly – abuzz with rumours about his unhappiness about the size of his part (wahey – shut up). We suspect it has less to do with role and MUCH MORE to do with Quentin Tarantino’s horrible choice of T-shirts. More on this revelation as we get it.