There are a lot of ways people express despair. Some weep, some set things alight, some go on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here – but no method of coping is as poignant as the simple art of Getting Completely Nude. And, for one gentlemen, that is what watching Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked reduced him to. And can any of us really say we wouldn’t have done the same?

Last week, at a 4pm screening of the shrieking vermin caper, a man stripped fully naked on the front row of a Chicago theatre, in full view of 96 punters. Rather than taking this action for what it was – a poignant, wordless scream at the state of our decimated modern culture – the man was promptly arrested. Fascists. When asked why exactly he felt the need to take all his clothes off in front of a room full of families, the man replied that a woman who worked at the cinema promised him sex and drugs if he took his clothes off. And you know what? We believe him. We believe you, noble flesh warrior – it’s only with great actions like yours that the tide of Chipmunks 4: Chip Off The Chip Eating Some Chips will be stemmed. Seriously though, all of the above happened. And if that’s not worthy film news, then we don’t know what is.