With just weeks to go until the inevitable release of Green Lantern, yet another trailer has been inflicted upon us – and this one’s got a voiceover. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, GEOFFREY RUSH? Not only is your psyche about to be assaulted by the combination of Lionel Logue’s soothing tones and a flurry of shite CGI, but you’re also going to have to sit through an incoherent origin story.
Just watch this:

You know how the trailers for Sweeney Todd cleverly concealed the fact that it was a musical so people would be lulled into a false sense of security until the moment Alan Rickman started trying to sing at them? That was perversely impressive. Nothing like the same amount of obfuscation was needed in this scenario – all the bozos at DC/Warner Bros had to do was carefully not mention the idiotic spectrum of coloured emotional energies which unfortunately refract with gleeful abandon throughout the DC universe. Emerald energy of willpower? Parallax, an entity which feeds on the yellow energy of fear? Oh, shut up. In other news, Green Lantern is looking progressively more like a gung-ho adaptation of Penny Crayon: Hal Jordan, can will anything he likes/ Like swords and trucks and AA guns, and masks and emerald tights…